Can I Do Better?

It's that time of year---not only time for  another cursed birthday, but time for a little bit of soul searching, time for resolutions. I wish that I could say hey, I'm pretty good. I don't think any changes are necessary. Unfortunately, honesty prevents me from that declaration. I'm old and you know what they say about dogs and new tricks. I'm pretty set in my ways, comfortable in my skin these days. I have come to not place much importance to what people think. It is the existence of that comfort zone that makes me have to question my need for improvement.

 

As I've aged, it seems that my heart has grown a little hard around the edges. The world is a rough and cruel place often and either for self preservation or perhaps just pure selfishness, I choose to close my eyes to much of that angst and drama.  As a matter of fact, the more I've realized that no one can make me acknowledge and observe the ills of the world, the more I've shut it out. I despise sad movies and stories and avoid them like the plague. While I would stubbornly defend my right to turn my head away, I'm aware that it's not something to be proud of. In my pursuit of indifference  I've greatly magnified my intolerance of people's weaknesses and problems.

 

Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals has always held a place in my heart. Though, I'm not  a religious person, like all religious saints, it seems there is a simplicity to his character. To me he represents true compassion. Compassion is the virtue that I'm feeling a lack of these days. I wince away from the ugly, write my small checks---because dollars are the easiest salve for guilt and go about my life

 

So, this New Year's, as I add another year to my advancing personal calendar, I'm going to make just one resolution.  I'm making no promises to loose these pounds I wear, to jog or walk or any of that good for me stuff or give up my evening wine. I'm not planning on volunteering for charity or to quit playing mindless games on my computer. Frankly, imperfect though I am, I feel like I've earned certain indulgences.  But, I am going to  make a true effort to search and soften my heart for the woes of this old world.  I'm going to make an honest attempt to view the mistakes, the unfortunate circumstances of my fellow man with more tolerance. I'm going to try to do better at finding true compassion for those poor distressed souls---even the stupid ones.

 

Happy New Year!  JO

Naughty or Nice?

No question these days, with the political campaigns slime-ing us, the violence that is both home and foreign grown, the world is far from nice.  It's sad and scary, violent and vulgar. If you don't turn off all media on occasion, give your brain a break, you feel as pathetic as the tree when all the decorations are stripped away and the presents are gone.

Sometimes you just need to indulge your natural aversion to the nasty old world, it's inhabitants and troubles.  You don't have to watch the sick children, the abused animals, the saddest stories all the time, every day. And you don't have to feel guilty that you can't fix it all.  A person only needs to do and give what they can, both near and far away. Your heart should be your guide, but your brain should lead.  You're not bad to search for your own joy.

The hubby and I are still adjusting to living a smaller life. It's been a hectic year of change. Some days, especially the dreary cold and wet ones, I have to admit the doubts swirl around. Confined to the small spaces of a travel trailer, "what have we done?" does enter the head. But, then you have to keep a perspective, gloomy winter days are never pleasant, no matter where you are. I did manage to find a spot for a small tree with some of my favorite ornaments. Once the presents were all wrapped and piled around, I felt better. These gifts won't be opened on one big chaotic day, with all my family together in my home, but they will be given with love to my children and grand children and happy times will be shared with them all.

There are some nice things about this time of year, this Christmas season. Things that seem to often be unique to the holidays.  Of course, it's a time when we do pause and are thankful for family, friends and the good things in our lives. If you allow yourself, however, it's all the small things that can make you smile and give you that joy. 

It's so nice....

       Even in this travel trailer "village",  the wreaths and lights and decorations begin to appear between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

       You can smell the scents of things baking and people tap on your door, bearing small cans and bags of fudge and cookies and all the wonderful things that your doctor warns you not to eat. Just a bite or two won't hurt, will it?

       Bright cards with happy wishes arrive from old friends and family, make you look forward to checking the mail. You line or stack them up, and wonder who is the Joe and Ann that secretly pushed the glittery card into your door frame?

       That even new acquaintances tactfully ask what you're doing for Christmas and make sure you know there's a place for you at their gathering.

        That there's plenty of sappy, corny Hallmark and Christmas movies on tv with happy endings.

It's okay to be naughty for  these brief moments of the holidays and only think about the nice, the good and precious things of our earth and the living things that inhabit it.

Merry, Merry, JO



   

Questions?

The definition of tyranny---oppressive power over the mind of man: a rigorous condition imposed by some outside agency or force.

Ask yourself these questions:

***You're hold up, hiding in a room and listening to people being murdered around you---when the assassin finds you, would you want to have your cell phone in your hand, telling your family goodbye or would you want to have a weapon to give yourself a chance of survival?  Are you comfortable that the bad guys (no amount of banning and laws will prevent them from having their guns), the government troops, the local law enforcement possess all the weapons? 

***Are you willing to unlock all your doors, open your home to any person that comes on to your private property, walks up to your door?  Any person, stranger and uninvited, even a person who appears to be like the one who declared that he hated you, your enemy---welcomed?  America's borders are presently as close to that as possible without officially having a wide open portal to our country.

***Do you believe that all the people, politicians and others who proclaim America's lack of balance between the haves and the have nots, those that say the wealth should be more fairly distributed, have no wealth of their own? Do you believe that they actually understand the conditions of the middle and lower class?  Are they willing to share their prosperity, will they give up their expensive cars, planes, designer clothes, multiple multi-million dollar homes?  The cost of just one of the Clinton's homes would provide decent housing for more than 200 people. 

***Do you believe that all law enforcement are abusive racists?  all black people are rioting looters? all muslims are terrorists?  No---you don't?  The large majority of Americans don't believe those things.  However, political correctness was never intended to protect and enable people that break our laws. Our laws apply to all Americans and are not to be prejudiced or make exceptions for anyone. If a big snarling spotted dog has attacked your neighbor, you will be extremely cautious and suspicious of a big spotted dog that walks your street. This is not profiling or phobic, this is the human instinct for protection and survival.

Here are the answers that completely ignore the reality of the dangerous times we are now living in:

GUN CONTROL---Take away the guns and the killings will stop.  Fact; you and your family will die, like the hundreds already have at the hands of the bad guys who will have their weapons and choose targets that they know are unprotected, churches, schools, public buildings, you and your home.


OPEN BORDERS---Poor and desperate refugees are seeking sanctuary and a better life, they are the ones who flee to our country.  Fact; the porous borders and our loose immigration policies make it highly probable that those that mean us harm will blend into the masses and infiltrate our country. They are the most dangerous hole in our homeland security.

SOCIALIST GOVERNING---Freedom means that everyone should share equally in the prosperity. Fact;  Freedom and democracy means that everyone should share equally in the opportunity to be prosperous and acquire the benefits of a free society.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS---In order to never offend, we should pretend that all of human kind are one color, one gender, one religion and never identify a person by their differences. Fact; Why would it be wrong to identify me with my differences?  Why are we not proud of our differences?  We ARE different.  White or black or polka dot--- Christian, Muslim or the Church of the Flightless Cuckoo Bird---male, female or somewhere in between---our differences are our identities, who we are, not insults.

America needs to wake up, wise up and toughen up.  Only lemmings follow each other in a blind and stupid dive off the cliff. The final question would be, do you want to plunge over the edge and hope the pile of bodies at the bottom breaks your fall or do you want to take a hard look at who is leading you to the edge?

Holiday Survival

Here we are--- approaching that wonderful, special holiday season. When I was younger and had small children, and for even quite a few years past those times, I never understood why some folks would say, "Christmas just makes me sad."  Since  I hadn't always had very happy Christmases when I was young I was damn and determined that my children would have big Merry ones. And we did have many. The only thing missing was I always wished for more money to buy the perfect gifts, make the perfect meal, create the perfect Christmas world at my home. 

Now, I'm much older, the children have children, there is even a child of the daughter's daughter.  And ironically, just the last few years, I get it. The holiday season can be very depressing. I now know that it was never about the amount of dollars to spend, it was always about the family happily joining together.  But the years go by, the children grow up and form their own lives and traditions.  And my beloved family is like many, especially in today's world, they do love each other, they just don't always like each other.  There is no true perfect holiday and there is no true perfect family. Relationships are complicated. And for the more "mature" of us, you add in the fact that people who were once an important part of your life, just aren't here anymore. 

So, I  painfully get it---Christmas and the stretched out holiday season, with it's shiny, sparkly, merry, ho-ho-ho ness can make a person want to smash a big ole pumpkin pie right in someone's grinning carol singing face!  How do you survive the holidays that aren't so merry for you any longer?  Here are some of my tips:

             *Give up any ideas that you've clung to about perfect holidays. Give up on your set belief in the place or time or how you will celebrate.   Accept that times and people change, that the holiday, just like life, isn't always about what you want and what you think you need to be happy.

            *Open your heart and your mind to something different.  If you need to have several celebrations, in several different places, just do it. Don't try to guilt or force all of your family to be together because you want it that way.  Be with family, whether it's one or ten, or with your friends.

          *Prepare or purchase special food and enjoy sharing it. Be thoughtful and creative about gifts, even a gift card can be in a pretty box or bag with someone's favorite candy bar or small thing included. You can go to a movie, a restaurant, take a walk in a park, something that you don't normally do when you gather for a holiday.

          *Refuse to be a part of any "drama" on the day, at the time of your holiday celebration. Enjoy the ones you 're with, remind yourself of the things that you love about them and do not get into any discussions of negative issues. If a discussion of family issues or disagreements begins just excuse yourself or simply smile and say, "I'm sorry. I'm not talking about that today."

         *Remind yourself of the things you are thankful for in your life and find your own joy. Share it with your loved ones and don't let anyone take it from you. 

If you will just do these simple things, mainly a change in your attitude and expectations, you'll have a much more peaceful holiday time. It may not be the big happy family Christmas that you dreamed of or even once had, but it can be an enjoyable time.

My true wishes for your happy holiday, JO

Scary Candidates

Some of the most frightening words (not to mention stupid) things spew right out of our presidential candidate's mouths. It's enough to make Chainsaw Massacre look like a Disney film.

Hillary Clinton,  "At the center of my campaign is how we're going to raise wages -- yes, of course, raise the minimum wage, but we have to do so much more, including finding ways so that companies share profits with the workers who helped to make them."

Bernie Sanders, "You've got the top 400 Americans owning more wealth than the bottom 150 million Americans. Most folks do not think that is right."

These are dangerous, socialist philosophies of redistribution of wealth. A very strong woman, who has had personal experience with  socialism, Margaret Thatcher said,
      "The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of  everyone else's money." 
and she also said,  
      "Trying to cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia  with leeches."

Ronald Reagan said, "Since when do we in America believe that our society is made up of two diametrically opposed classes—one rich, one poor—both in a permanent state of conflict and neither able to get ahead except at the expense of the other?"

Donald Trump, “I will build a great wall — and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me —and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.” 

Really?  Mexico is going to pay to build a wall to keep out the floods of illegal immigrants that they make no effort to prevent from leaving their country now. The only mark I have for those words is Bull!

And all the candidates that believe that controlling and banning the guns from law abiding American citizens haven't paid any heed to history's lessons---
      Adolph Hitler, "In order to conquer a nation, first you disarm it's citizens."
      Vladimir Lenin, "One man with a gun can control one hundred without."

Gun control---weak borders---redistribution of wealth that most Americans don't even have. It's a horror movie in the making for the destruction of the American democracy.
     

Control

 

It doesn't matter what your political preference is, it's important that we all pay attention to what is being said by the folks that are asking to be the new leader of country.  I agree that the constant rhetoric is boring and after a while you just zone out and quit hearing. Some promises are so worn out...I'll do this, trust me I'll fix that, I'll create jobs, I'll fix the economy, I'll fix health care, I'll not be partisan...For the most part, the fixers and bloviaters are just making promises that they cannot keep. In other words, they are liars.

The danger my friends, is in the repetitive words that you begin to not notice.  I think the most threatening word that the politicians use is "control".  When the representatives of our government or those that want that job start talking about control, our liberties are in peril. It's easy to go along, think something sounds good when it is an issue that's important to you. Think beyond what only affects you personally and about the real implications of some of these intrusive restrictions of our rights. Freedoms do not apply to just the specific ones that each of us prefer, it applies to all.   Listen very closely when any of  these candidates expound on what they will control.

Warning!   Gun CONTROL will not solve our problems of crime and terrorism.  The bad guys will get their guns, only the lawful will be weaponless.  Our constitution guaranteed the citizens the right to own guns as personal protection and protection from a government that might  grow too controlling, as history proves has and can happen. Vladimir Lenin, the 19th century communist revolutionary said, "One man with a gun can control one hundred men without." Do you really want the "one" gun to be held by our government?

Warning!  Climate CONTROL is an oxymoron. We humans cannot control nature or climate. We may have some minor influences negative or positive. Diminishing our pollution of the world is a worthy endeavor but making humans the cause of the earth's evolving climate is arrogant and an excuse for certain activists to control our behavior to fit their idea  of what's right. If humans and their evil material lives are so detrimental to the climate, what caused all the climate changes before  humans.  If methane from cows is so toxic (as some nut case declared a few years ago) then can you imagine what mountainous piles of dinosaur poop must've done to the planet?

Warning! Health Care CONTROL. No lengthy explanation needed. We're a capitalist system and the government has no business in regulating and dispensing health care. No socialist health care system in the world is successful for the patients. It really makes no difference what you pay when you die waiting for your turn to be treated.

Warning! Wealth CONTROL.  The redistribution of wealth is a disastrous and stupid philosophy. When a government decides that everyone will have the same, then everyone has a little of nothing. Even if you don't or aren't able to work, even if you're on welfare, would you like it if the government came to you and said, "You receive a considerable amount more benefit than your neighbor, so we're going to take some of yours away and give to him."  Luck and good fortune, hard work and smarts make people prosperous.  Bad luck and misfortune, laziness and stupidity make people poor.  It is the facts of life. No other country in the world has more opportunity for changing your life status than America.  No government has the right to decide who has what.

I haven't been able to erase from my mind the story of the woman from Austria who lived through the holocaust and said, "We stood in the streets and shouted and clapped, welcomed Hitler. He was to be our savior. He didn't have to fire a shot to conquer us. Let this be a warning to Americans."   This is our warning. We are free, our government was never meant to control our lives, it is there to serve and protect.

The Right Place

Sometimes, in spite of ourselves, we land on the right spot. The hubby and I just returned to our hometown area in Texas, for the holidays and a three month visit with friends and family. Luck seemed to be following us.

Earlier, when we left in the Spring for our season in the cool climate of Colorado, we had only set up our new travel trailer once and lived in it for about three weeks. It was stored away for the summer. We had intentions to return to the same campground where we had previously stayed.  I won't go into the the lengthy story of why we changed our mind about that plan. I will say that even though the campground was a very nice place,  the owner was unwelcoming and placed an unreasonably high value on his accommodations. 

We made a decision to try a RV park that we had only made a brief drive through before we left for the summer.  What a fortunate choice that turned out to be.  As you can see, it's a beautiful place.  The deck was already there, in front of our nicely graveled spot and the green grass rolls right down to a shallow bay that branches off a large East Texas lake.  With the wonderful Fall weather we're currently having,  there is no question this is a great place for us to be.  But, the beauty of the place isn't the main reason that it's so special.  The owner of this park and his wife are what's special.

From the moment that we dragged the big trailer to our spot until today, nearly a week later, these folks have been right here offering to help in any way they could to make us comfortable and welcome. From helping us set up the trailer, to finding someone to do a repair, to providing clean, excellently maintained facilities, this person has many times made our life so much simpler.  Just about the time you begin to have doubts if any good people are left  in our world, someone quietly steps up and proves that there are indeed some very exceptional ones. With an upbeat attitude and a smile, this man is generous and truly cares about the residents of his park. As good often attracts good, there is a community here of very nice folks.  Out of approximately seventy "campers", most full time RVers, we haven't met one that isn't nice and very happy to be here.

A while back, I wrote that I just wanted to find one good man to be our president. While the owner of this place will not be our president, he is absolutely such a good man.   For us, this is further confirmation that our downsizing adventure is a positive change in our life.  For our important time at home, we've found the right place.

Finding Your Funny Bone

Supposedly, the funny bone is nicknamed because it's actually the humerus.  I think it's called the funny bone due to the fact that if someone jams it (right in the vicinity of the elbow) and jumps around like a crazed monkey, you just laugh your ass off.  Laugh your ass off is an expression to be explored another time.

Sometimes, you just really need to find your funny bone. If you watch too much politics, news and tv, it's real easy to completely lose your sense of humor. You can come to feel like the world is full of stupid and mean people and surely the end is near...by the way, as someone said, you might be right, but don't call me Shirley.

Any-who-o, it's the end of our great season here at the cabin. I'm looking forward to being home in Texas through the holidays and catching up with family and friends.  If you've been searching for your sense of humor, here's some of my favorite funny quotes.  Maybe one will crack your funny bone.

***People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Issac Asimov

***Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Elbert Hubbard

***I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I'll be sober and you'll still be ugly.
Winston Churchill

***Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic and so am I.
Oscar Levant

***Go to Heaven for the climate, go to Hell for the company.
Mark Twain

***Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin

***Life is hard. After all, it kills you.
Katherine Hepburn

***Never have more children than you have car windows.
Erma Bombeck

Two of my favorite Jeff Foxworthy word definitions:
              Senuous- Since you wuz up, bring me another beer.
              Mayonnaise- Man 'ayes a lot of people out here.

May your problems be small and your smiles big, may your days be many and your health strong, may I be the friend to you that you've been to me.  JO

Arrogance

Who am I to be talking about the incredible arrogance of the politicians and celebrities of our present day?  I am nobody and that is precisely the point.  I'm not asking you to elect me a high office or to accept me as your leader. I'm not in a position of extreme influence.  I am merely expressing my opinion. That is my right as it is every American's right.

There is a huge difference in me expressing my opinion and in the self serving, full of themselves actions of so many of the very visible and famous, very influential and powerful of our society. There are  many of these very well known persons that are truly so self important that they believe they have the privilege to tell us what is right, whose behavior is acceptable or not.

Whatever happened to the things that many of us were brought up to believe?  Pride goeth before a fall---Putting someone else down will not bring you up---If you can't say anything good, don't say anything at all.  These people are contradictions to the own blathering beliefs.  They claim to be against racism, for women's rights, against discrimination in any form and yet:
            
                  Hilary Clinton lies, breaks and bends the law, says What difference does it make?

                  Donald Trump is such a pompous ass that the stuff that spews out of his mouth should be coming out the other end.

                  Joy Behar and the ladies of the view, the supposed champions of women and their equality, go on national television and make fun of a Miss America contestant because she chose as her talent to speak of her proud career.

                  Various Hollywood celebrities water their yards during a severe drought, drive big cars and private airplanes while condemning the rest of us for polluting the environment

The list most certainly goes on and on.  There seems to be very little middle ground these days. Those that decide to "say it like it is", to rebel against the politically correct police are vicious.  These personal attacks are ugly and they do nothing to solve the many problems of the world today. These highly visible people that are so free with their imperatives and opinions  are narcissistic and arrogant and the high horse they are riding is a dangerous perch.

Holy Moley!

I am so truly sick of hearing about marriage---about who has a right to BE married and who has a right to SAY who shall be married.  Like all big stories du jour, we are bludgeoned over the head with it for hours and days and weeks. 

Like most things that are perverted, twisted and spun out to fit whatever particular individuals believe and want, the marriage issue has been ran through the grinder, formed into messy little misshaped balls that we now are viciously lobbing at each other.

The definition of marriage or to marry includes, to join as according to custom or law, to combine, to commit, to unify, to take a spouse, to form a close union.  No where in the definition does it mention a piece of paper issued by the government, federal or state, to allow you to marry.  NO ONE can deny you the right to marry.  Marriage is the commitment of love and loyalty between two consenting adults before the spiritual diety they believe in or by their accepted representative of that diety or simply a firm and good faith declaration to each other.  Why would a person think that something as important in their life as taking a partner should fit any one religion's or person's idea of proper.  Marriage is a deeply individual and personal, private commitment of the heart.  If that commitment is true, you are married.

A marriage license is just a tax, a piece of bureaucratic paper that allows the counties and states to levy more of their taxes upon us. In fifty years of marriage, I don't think I've seen or touched my marriage license even twice.  It does have a sentimental value to me but it has not made me love my spouse more, be more loyal or honor my union more. Those things came from the truth of our hearts. 

What needs to happen in this crazy bass-ackwards country of ours is that no one should have to pay for a license to marry.  Folks should marry according to their own beliefs and customs, in their chosen manner. And these unions, so long as they are not breaking laws, should not in any form or fashion be the business of city or county employees.    Even though M. Kim Davis has every right to believe in her version of marriage and her right to speak and protest  is protected,  she has no right to pick and choose which law she obeys and she most certainly has no right to tell any other citizen they cannot have her permission to be married.  Surely, there is much more productive work for someone as important and self assured as this employee to do in order to earn her salary. 

Just like the flight attendant who converted to Islam, suddenly is forbidden to serve alcohol and now thinks a whole airline should accommodate her---no, wrong.  She made her life choices and she is responsible to make the necessary sacrifices for her decisions.  I'm very disappointed at the support that this county clerk has received. Should she have gone to jail? No, she should've been fired like any other person who will not do their job. Why would her religion, her beliefs be above all others?  With all my heart and soul I believe in our freedoms, I believe in standing up for them and in fighting for them.  Religious freedom, freedom of speech, right to bear arms---those are some of our precious promises. No single religion or culture gets to dictate the morals of American citizens.

 I'm sad to say that I don't believe Kim Davis is a survivor as the background music belied, she is arrogant and self righteous.  As another famous person that I have little respect for said, What difference does it make?   If this woman has her heartfelt religions beliefs, then why does she care if someone has a worthless piece of paper that gives them permission to seek hell and damnation. 

One Good Man

Was Abraham Lincoln a true good man? Although, none of us can ever know what is in another person's heart, from all accounts, he was a gentle and good man. He cared about our country and he cared whether he was an upstanding person or not. That's what I'm looking for to be our next president---one good man.

I'm heart sick and disgusted with the parade of the sleazy, slick talking presidential candidates that we are presented with each day.  I'm more sickened by the media coverage these people, that no true American in their right mind would even be considering as the leader of our precious country, are getting.  The media waste their time and ours just waiting for some poor clod to mis-speak or mis-step.  It's like they place a sack of do-do in the candidate's path and then make a headline story out of the fact that they "stepped in it". 

We have no time for this inane and childish, politically correct policing and reporting.  Barrack O'bama used the evil N-word...the press knew exactly what context the man used it in but they exaggerated and spun it out for their own purposes. Does any intelligent person really believe that O'bama was throwing around that hateful word?  Jeb Bush used the term "anchor baby"....oh s--t! offense alert!  Give me a flipping break.  What about the real problems and issues that will affect the very future of our country and it's citizens? What are the media--- middle school hall monitors?

There is a vast difference between a word just mis-spoken and rhetoric that really shows the philosophy and character of a candidate.  A difference in people that lie, cheat and break the law. Will Hillary Clinton loose her temper with some dangerous foreign threat, snap their head off like a bitch dog and ask them "What difference does it make?"  She comes from a history of lies, right on the edge of the law dealings. She is arrogant and full of herself and all the time she is talking of the plight of poor Americans is building her wealth. Duplicity is not a hallmark of  good character. How much smoke can there be and you still say, but there's no fire.

Donald Trump?  I thought for certain that it was some publicity stunt that he was running.  Yes, he is rich. He never misses an opportunity to tell us just how wealthy he is.  Yes, he must be a smart business man to have reached the success he has.  Just because he says what you're thinking does not mean he is a serious possibility to be our president.  I have never seen one ounce of proof that he is a generous man and a good leader. The man, in a not very tactful way, accused his questioner of being at the bad time of month and therefore asking him hard questions. Really? this isn't a mis-spoke word, this is a real indicator of his ideals.  Like Mrs. Clinton, he is arrogant and full of himself and cares about his very own advancement.

These are not good people folks.  Why would we even consider them as our president? We have many other good choices.  America has developed a very high tolerance for very low or no character.  I don't want to hear about one or two words that were said among the thousands and thousands of words that all the candidates speak. I want to know about the real history and values of these people.  I have a right to expect the president of the greatest country on earth, my America, to be of high character. I am looking for just one good man---or woman. A good person, a good president will most certainly make mistakes but it will never be because of their own self serving purpose being above their duty to the job they were so honored to be given.

Going With The Flow

The hubby and I have always agreed and laughed about the fact that we are just middle of the road folks.  We don't have wild and amazing adventures but we don't sit in our chair and never venture out. We take very calculated risks, plan and research our life changes.  We aren't the smartest or the richest or the most beautiful but we aren't the dumbest, poorest or ugly.  You know, just somewhere in the middle of life's extremes, like the large majority of humans.

I would say that there are more reasonable waters to navigate, somewhere in between struggling upstream and laying on your back and floating downstream. 

Sometimes choices and sometimes change that is out of our control make very big diversions in the river of life.  Selling our house in our hometown, keeping our summer cabin 800 miles away and choosing to live in a travel trailer when we are home brought many changes.  One decision nearly always brings many, many more.  When a choice that you make doesn't exactly bring the perfect results that you were after or when an unexpected  event knocks you off your feet, that's when "going with the flow" is a good response. You can't panic, turn and fight wildly upstream against natural currents.  Maybe just kick your feet a bit and get your bearings, make a new plan as to where you're headed. 

Going with the flow doesn't mean that you have no control. We always have choices, some control of our direction. Even with bad things such as health issues, personal losses or disasters, we have control over how we are going to respond and deal with the situation.   Anyone who has ever had to deal with a painful personal loss will tell you that the most surprising and amazing thing is when the morning comes, the new day dawns and life, the world goes on....they felt certain that the world had stopped with their pain. 

The world does not stop, life rushes on.  Whether you're flailing against the flow or rolling along with it, you will not be allowed to stay in one place, you're going to move. It seems to me that if you do anchor yourself in one place, you will certainly eventually drown in boredom and a river of what ifs.  I choose to seek out that place of peace in between, keep myself off the rocks and away from the rapids.  Upstream is behind me, already washed away and I want to see what's around the bend. I just prefer to move ahead at my own speed.  If I need to sit on the shore for a while and think about it, I will but I know that sooner or later, I'll dive back in and ride the waves.

Excerpt from New Booklet

INTRODUCTION

Tales and advice are everywhere these days about downsizing your life. Television and the media, magazines can certainly make the idea of simplifying appear intriguing and tempting. Stories and images of travel trailers and motor homes, tiny houses, condos, town homes and their smiling residents---or are they gritting their teeth?---are everywhere. These images make the prospect of paring down look like a dream. In a country that is bloated with stuff and things and responsibilities, who wouldn't be fascinated with the possibility, the alternative lifestyle of less.

The big question is, Is it right for you? Could you, maybe you and a partner or family benefit from shrinking your life, would it be do-able, why would you want to? People of all ages and situations are considering this lifestyle change. It may be living smaller but it's definitely not a small decision to make. The hubby and I are approximately 99% complete in our downsizing adventure. We haven't regretted our decision, though it is certainly not for everyone. I would like to share our experience, the lessons learned, present some pros and cons and hopefully help some of you to make a good choice in your life.

I won't sugar coat it, this has been a monstrous undertaking. If you check the life calender for the two of us, we're in the late Fall of our life. We've had plenty of years to accumulate. This decision brought six long months of hard choices and lots of hard work. Making an agreeable plan, de-cluttering, giving up stuff and following through with the plan has strained our backs and our nerves. We are just now, finally able to look at each other in wonder and say “What have we done? Are we crazy or clever as foxes?”

I'll let you make that determination. Happy reading and good luck with all your adventures, big and small.

The March of The New American Nazis

The attack on our liberties continues and the fascists of our country grow bolder.  There are the word Nazis, the food Nazis, the smoking Nazis...the growing armies of frack-ing Nazis!   Heil-ya'll.  Just pick your cause and fall in step with those that would dictate or have the government regulate what we do, how we run our business, what we think and what we say. 

It all goes against the very principles of freedom.  In a free society, it is guaranteed that all creeds, colors and cultures will live together and have the right to pursue their beliefs and happiness.  In such an idealistic democratic melting pot of mixed humanity, individuals will be offended, will be in deep disagreement with other citizens.  The whole point is supposed to be that free people have the right to protest loudly and publicly, to campaign and work for change.  No one individual has the right to deprive another of that privilege. 

I am no big fan of our current president, never have been. However, in recent days, we've had the completely idiotic condemnation of O'bama because he used the offensive "N" word. It's not that the word isn't offensive, it's ugly.  But, there's not one person who berated the president that is not intelligent enough to know the context that he used the word in.  We have become a nation of politically correct pea-brains, purposefully misreading, spinning and twisting actions and words. Words, folks...you CAN NOT censor and ban words. The freedom of speaking those words, however offensive to some, is one of our biggest privileges.

This ultra sensitive, narcissistic culture that we have nurtured isn't correcting injustices, it's fanning the flames of hate.  The PC Nazis are stomping and prancing and attempting to turn offensive and ugly behavior into a crime, trying to ban any words or actions that they don't like or agree with. I say, mind your own business, take care of your own self.  In your self important arrogance, don't show me the nightmarish deaths and horrors of smokers and abused animals. Your latest genius terrorist strategy, being sure that I know the horrible death I will face if I drink soda pop. Get off of my TV! Get out of my life! 

When I said "bolder" this is what I mean.  It's no longer enough to give warnings or information, they must force feed us their opinions.  Who are They?  America is supposed to be about WE.  A nation that is free for all recognizes that many compromises will be necessary.  You can stand up all day long and tell me that you think I'm stupid or wrong, but never try to take away my right to be stupid or wrong.

Please, Spare Me the Gory Details

Why is it these days, there is a compulsion to know, see and hear EV-E-RY thing?  Actually, I'm not sure that so many are compelled to this, but multitudes are compelled to show and tell us.  I can't speak, of course, for all. Myself, by the time I hear or read the headlines, the news (supposedly), I'm just sick and tired. 

Billy Graham said, "Self-centered indulgence, pride and a lack of shame for sin is the new emblem of American society." It rings painfully true.  I would have to be honest and say that I make very few decisions or judgments in my life based on religion. Indeed, I'm not a deeply spiritual individual. However, facts are facts. The majority of us, me most certainly, have people we love, family and friends and people we know that have personal problems and troubles.  The young folks of today have particularly hard and confusing decisions and choices.  I doubt, other than a few close friends, that anyone gives a rat's ass about those things.  Why would the fact that thousands of people know your name, make this more interesting?

Even the latest fashion trend is celebrities spending obscene amount of dollars on dresses that you can see their underwear through.  Why? I wish that I got that, but I just don't.  The "NEWS" is about people's ever changing or possibly illegal sexual preferences, their gender switching, their new aversion to their partner...a huge disgusting buffet of private crappiness. Everyday, I scour the news looking for some stories that are interesting, not about famous names, have some type of value.  It's not that people don't have true dilemmas or that I don't think they have the right to be, and to a degree, do what they want. Please, spare me the endless details. 

I get that people sometimes need validation, approval. Whatever happened to the notion of privacy, to pride and dignity?  Keeping private things private, doesn't mean that you're ashamed, it simply means that you have some self respect and dignity and that it's nobody's damn business.  I truly am so weary and sickened by the current obsession to dig around in one's life closet, drag out the stinkiest, nastiest & ugliest bag of secrets that is there and splash it across any media that will promote it. I may be a bitchy old broad, but it seems much less about difficult events in one's life and much more about publicity. Folks that have no personal boundaries or self respect don't seem to mind a bit what kind of publicity they get. A world filled with narcissistic inhabitants will not be a place any humans will thrive in.

Can You Prepare?

My old heart breaks for my fellow Texans back home. The loss and devastation is a ongoing nightmare. I have to admit that my inclination is to cover both my eyes and ears to the reports of sad loss. The loss of property is horrendous but the loss of lives is nearly unbearable to hear.

I've long had mixed feelings about the technology that allows people in their very last moments on our earth to communicate with important loved ones.  Is this a curse or an amazing blessing?  The reality of our world that allows folks to make those final desperate phone calls...passengers on the plane going to ground on nine-eleven or the young mother, who in horror tumbled with her husband and young children down the wild and vicious Texas river, their vacation house swept away. It is a painful scenario to envision. 

Is there any possible way to prepare for such disasters?  No question, there are some sudden and unexpected circumstances in life that no one could ever prevent or be prepared for.  I do know that when the order is given, when there is any advance warning of disaster, we need to have no hesitation in extreme caution.  When it is ordered or suggested that we take cover, move to high ground, evacuate, we must do those things.

My well worn old explanation to my children, when they thought their parents were being too strict, over careful, was..."You have to understand, if we over protect you, the worst that is going to happen is that you will whine that we were strict parents, perhaps even someday when you're an adult.  But, the alternative is just too frightening to consider.  The situation that we would allow or the rule that we wouldn't insist that you follow, that resulted in your harm, in our loss of you."  There is no real option. In other words, I'm a firm believer in to err on the side of caution.

The circumstances in Texas and in many other parts of our country have been sudden and catastrophic. There was very little that could be done to prepare for this.   Hopefully, the preparations and generosity of others will ease some of the tragic misery.  May we that have been spared,  all give thanks that we're not faced with the heartbreaking choices and events that our fellow citizens are besieged with today. May our prayers, our love and support be sent to the citizens of Texas and other disaster burdened states.

Is Simple Better?

Lately, I've been riding a sweeping learning curve. I've asked myself multiple times, Is simpler really better? The approximate 1,000 square foot cabin in the picture is now the hubby and I's largest dwelling. Our shelter when we go home to Texas, a less than 350 square foot travel trailer.  We do have a decent storage shed at the two acre location of our small summer home and we're currently building a large barn/garage.  The reality is that we have cut our living space in less than half. 

Does this work, is this a livable situation, especially if you're in the retirement years of your life?  Of course, only each individual can answer that question. I, personally, am saying that simplifying your life and downsizing is very do-able.  I wouldn't say that it has been easy to accomplish this.  We come from a time when a wife, a mother, a grand-mother just was expected to do certain things. We needed "things" to be the proper caretaker of our family and hostess to our friends.  I mean what self respecting lady didn't have a nice deviled egg plate...what if it was the big dinner? what if something had to be taken to church? what if someone died?  Since we were fortunate and able to, it didn't hurt to have more than one.

The thing is, over the years, those "things" grew.  We had our own egg plates, special dishes, etc. and then we began to have things passed down from our grandmother, our mother.  Then we added all the modern necessities and multiplied them...automobiles, televisions, telephones, kitchen appliances and now computers, gadgets and cell phones.  One day, you find yourself rattling around in a large house with lots of stuff...lots of stuff. You go to the cabinet to look for the egg plate and you find six or eight egg dishes. Why? Your life has become massive, expensive and excessive.

I read a good article about the myths and mistakes that we're making about our retirement years. Two things rang very true to me.  One was the mistaken belief (or just the plain acceptance) that you'll work until you die.  Really? you're going to just accept that.  What about health issues? What about that job disappearing, you're going to go job hunting at age 67?  Even if you haven't done a lot of planning and preparing for your "golden years", to continue to go to a job everyday in order to support an overblown life, seems very sad and unrealistic to me. 

The second thing was that people have a very hard time downsizing.  That's no surprise, it's not easy to go what we consider backwards, to pare down a lifestyle.  Many people could retire, could quit work, could even enjoy some travel or hobbies, if they just simplified their basic everyday life a bit.  The truth is, you don't need six egg plates, you don't need a four bedroom house.  The family gathering doesn't have to be at your house, there are parks, restaurants, hotels.  You don't have to give up your family or the everyday little luxuries that you enjoy in order to downsize.  You just have to trim away the excess and unnecessary. Not only can it be a removal of large burdens from your back, you might be surprised at how exciting the change can be. 

Get out of your big old box and think about the possibilities of a small, simpler one.  One of the nicest things that happened to me over the last few months was at the huge downsizing sale we held. One of my daughters came to me with tears in her eyes, a large old beat up speckled roaster pan in her hands, "You're selling this, Moma?! We cooked everything in this pan."

With a big smile and a hug, I said, "No, honey....not selling it, it's all yours." She added it to her huge box with the egg plate and the Christmas dishes and the prom dress that had been carefully stored through years and moves. When my tiny grand-daughter saw it, she put her hands to her pretty face and said, "Oh-h-h, I love it!"  Simple isn't bad, less for me and more for them. 

Are You Smarter Than a Neanderthal?

More than occasionally I rant and rave about the offerings on TV. Of course, I do know that the power button is the cure for my displeasure.  It seems more fun to watch and gripe.  Now, there's lots of television programming that I purely detest, but I usually have to admit that it is just a matter of taste and preference as to what a person views. After all, if we all were the same, the stores would only carry chocolate and wine.  I have always loved dancing, but watching so-called celebrities, under dressed and overly cheesy, dance in an exaggerated competition of who can be the corniest, just doesn't appeal to me.  Watching people fish, or chop down huge trees or drive big rigs on icy roads to their great peril just bores the teeth right out of my mouth! I can't think of a single human being that I'm so in awe of that I want to observe the everyday mundane details of their lives...no matter how trashy it is. 

In general, even though I don't enjoy so much of TV, I understand that some folks do. However, I'm sure that I've found something that on a scale of stupid from 1-10, must be a minimum of a 12. The most disheartening thing is that this program is offered for your pleasure by the Discovery Channel. The Discovery Channel, folks. Doesn't the very name imply that you will find something wonderful, learn something from watching their programming?  The only thing that I've learned from Naked and Afraid is that the people that produce television programming and the people who conduct the rating polls are among the high population of genetic idiots that are increasing in our society. 

Look at the depiction of the Neanderthal man, note that he is wearing a fur cloak to protect his body.  Not for modesty, not for style. Even a caveman knew that he needed to cover his body. It takes no genius to figure this out.  One walk in the snow or bite on the butt makes even a small brain seek out a solution to bareness. So what would be the point of throwing a modern man and woman out into a harsh wilderness, bare-ass naked and following them around with a camera? If I know you and you think that makes sense, please don't tell me. Please spare me that piece of personal insight into your psyche. Is it sex? Again...if a dirty, bitten and beat up nude survivalist turns you on, please don't share your little fetishes with me.  Unless the lesson here is Never try to survive in the wilderness with a naked idiot, I just don't get it.

Never a smarter thing said than "You can't fix stupid."  Whether you strip it bare or dress it up in sequins, stupid is, as stupid does.  I'm afraid and I've got all my clothes on (talk about scary, strip me down and put me in front of a camera) of a culture that finds this entertaining.  Maybe for fame, maybe for money...what-ever...the folks that broadcast this crap and the "stars" of it are pegging out the stupid scale.

Should We Worry?

Jade Helm 15, US training drills in five states, involving 1,200 troops.  Shouldn't that be a comfort?  Shouldn't we be glad that our troops are getting good training? There is this question...training for what purpose?  The Military insists that these are just typical training maneuvers and admit that "Martial Law" enforcement is part of the training. 

The governor of Texas, Greg Abbot is concerned enough to say to the military, "I've ordered the Texas State Guard to monitor Jade Helm 15 to safeguard Texans' constitutional rights, private property & civil liberties." WE will be watching YOU.  Unfortunately, the world is a pretty chaotic place these days and America isn't immune. Those (and I include myself in that group) who believe that bad things can certainly occur, man made or from nature, do not have total faith that our own military will be looking after the citizen's own best interest.  There  is a very high mistrust in our government and a true belief that we must prepare for catastrophe and plan to take care of ourselves.

One thing is certain, a free people must not be complacent and take liberty for granted. One of the most disturbing things I've read over the last few years was the story from a European woman who lived in a city when Hitler and his armies came marching in. The people cheered, one of the most intelligent and evil leaders in history was welcomed and it was believed that he had come to make their lives . It was too late when her neighbors of Jewish origins began to disappear, one by one.  Vigilance is not paranoia.  We do need to pay attention.  A blind faith that any amassing power, whether from our own government or a foreign entity, will not be a threat to our freedom is just plain foolish. Where there is great power, there is always a danger of corruption. 

I, in no way, am degrading the soldiers that have signed on to protect us and our liberties. There are no braver and noble citizens than those that join our armies. It's wise to note though, the very same heroic folks that believe they are protecting us, can be the last to realize they are being used as weapons against us.  I applaud our governor for letting it be known that you will not come to our state and train or drill without some civilian over site. 

Another Texas governor and a president that I respected, said "Either you are with us or you're against us."   This is fact and Texas will be looking closely to see which side of that line your feet fall on.

Small and Simple

 

The hubby and I leave for Colorado in a couple of weeks, for the summer season. The cabin there that we always referred to as "small" will seem like a rambling mansion.  It has been a couple of weeks since we walked away forever from our comfy and pleasant Texas house. It was sold and we moved into a brand new travel trailer.  To say that this has been a big change would be drastically understating the endeavor.

We are settled in to a pleasant campground, with nice folks around, tall trees and generous spaces for parking your portable "home" and vehicles. Always the optimist, my belief in the ease of transition might have been a bit over enthusiastic. Not to mention my guess-timation of the amount of stuff  that trailer dwellers can stow away and still have room to live...actually room to breathe.  From re-learning how to walk sideways nearly everywhere you move to the spending hours looking for things that you did tuck away (not always in the most logical place), the change from house living to small and simple is a huge one. I admit, I've had some very doubtful days...what the hell have I done?!

Amazingly, it's getting better, we're feeling more at home. After all, life is so much about our patterns and routines. No matter where you are, you begin to form new routines. Logical or not, you get familiar with where things are. You get things arranged like it works for you.  As we are getting our final utility bills paid, the ones we'll not have to pay anymore...as we sit in our lawn chairs and watch the campground staff mowing the grass...as we remember maintenance and upkeep that will no longer be our job, we're beginning to enjoy the idea of this simpler life style. 

The truth is, for most of us, our lives of today are basically big and complicated. The giving up of some of that isn't the easiest surrender.  It can however, be extremely rewarding and freeing.  I'm already spotting things that I thought I just had to keep, hold on to and asking myself, "why in the heck did I think I needed that?"  More things will go to the Goodwill, before we store the trailer for the summer. The clutter and excess of our lives is slowly shrinking and we are feeling lighter and excited to be paring down. With our comforts and basics, life may not be totally simple but it is definitely smaller.  More to come, JO

Where Are Your Manners?

Do you find this figure in the photo to be attractive?  Perhaps you do, because we've been brainwashed into thinking that ultra thin is in.  I find the images of skeletal like celebrities and models, walking around, smiling and preening with a thin layer of skin stretched over their bones to be frightening.  What used to be photos of famine and illness are now famous people pictures.

Here's the truth, folks.  I understand that rich and successful people have money for nutritionists and trainers and all the tools to make themselves fit and attractive. I'm pretty gullible sometimes, but I don't for one second believe that all of these new emaciated persons dieted and exercised to these extreme forms.  Just like the super athletes, it will someday be exposed what kind of drugs they've used to reach negative mass. Most likely, not super but souped up.

If this distorted and sick example of perfection is not damaging enough to our children and our society, the shaming of those that still look like humans has become the acceptable behavior. In the last few weeks the crude and vicious remarks made about Kelly Clarkson, the beautiful and very talented singer have been highly reported. The most recent quote came from a news commentator that I respected.  It just burns my cookies...you know those cookies that I'm stuffing in my mouth and is obviously why my ribs haven't been visible to the naked eye for years.  Is that the reason that I'm not
slim and trim? Neither you or anyone else know my personal problems or struggles.  Does a public figure, who knows full well that everything they say will be repeated, will be heard by millions literally, have the right to comment about the appearance of another public figure?  Where are the manners, where is the respect, where is the tolerance?

Those things seem to be absent from our society today. Oh, we strut around, all puffed up about our tolerance and compassion.  We are tolerant of the deadbeat entitled...they can't help it, their education was poor, their great-great-great grandparents suffered great injustice, there's no high paying jobs in America.  We are tolerant of the crazy and evil...they can't help it, they had a bad childhood.  While we're so busy being understanding and empathetic of the huge crappiness in our world, we've become critical and arrogant concerning the everyday shortcomings of our fellow human beings. 

Moma said, "Don't worry, honey. When people say hateful things, they are just jealous of you." Well, I don't know about jealous. I do know there is just is no excuse for unwarranted and unkind criticism of people you don't even know. Some of the media personalities, the celebrities, the commentators have talked so much for so long that they have lost the ability to shut off their mouths. I don't care who you are, anyone that thinks the ugly remarks directed at M. Clarkson are acceptable, is so full of themselves that their eyeballs are bulging out. Who are THEY to criticize? Every single one of these commenters have the equal ability to shut their mouths and staunch the nasty flow from it.   I'm an intolerant person myself these days. I'm sickened and disappointed with persons that have no manners, no accountability and responsibility for their words or actions.

Change...Absence and the Heart

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, they say.  I've certainly been absent lately.  Have you missed me?  I've missed being here, talking and musing with you.

First there was our plan. An idea that we knew would bring big changes in the lives of the hubby and I. We also knew it would be a huge undertaking...selling our house in our hometown, downsizing. We would keep our Colorado cabin and a travel trailer here at home, using it much like an apartment when in Texas.  We cussed and discussed and decided that would be our grand plan.  It seemed far away and we began to gnaw away, just a nibble at a time.

Then, BOOM! The For Sale sign went up on Friday afternoon, by Saturday afternoon, we had two offers.  Suddenly, we were flaying and floundering, paddling as fast as two old folks can against the storm of change that seemed to engulf us.  It has been three weeks of chaos.  Contracts and negotiating, packing and selling stuff, inspections, appraisals and more negotiating.  The work and the stress seemed to never have an end. 

Hard decisions had to be made. Even when the mind is set, the stubborn heart isn't always in agreement.  "Aw-w, what about this ? I can't get rid of grandma's old do-dah...can I?"  The mind says, look, old girl, you made this decision. Stuff has got to go.  The heart makes a painful cracking noise and the tears flow.  Of course, butt tired exhaustion doesn't help with the choices.

Well, it's been three weeks and we still have our heads above the water and the flow is a bit calmer. I just packed away a small framed saying, Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. It applies.  The three daughters came, chose everything they wanted. That was good. Instead of them going through our years of accumulation because they had lost one or both of their parents, we had the joy of giving them things because of a positive event.  There was a huge sale and in spite of showers, the shoppers came like buzzards on a dead cow and picked us clean. 

So, now we sit, our voices echoing in the emptiness, in a living room with a sofa and a coffee table that belongs actually to the new buyer. We have our mattresses on the floor and we have two plates in the cabinet and the basics to survive for the next ten days.  A new travel trailer awaits to be picked up on the day after the closing,  the things we couldn't let go of and will go to the cabin huddle in storage.  We're still not able to lay on our backs and float and won't be for a long while yet, but not paddling near as frantically.  Change is rarely easy for humans, particularly aging ones. However, I truly believe that change is good for the mind, the body and the heart.  It forces a person into new territory and stimulates the imagination as to what is unknown, unseen and around the next bend. You just have to keep paddling. We'll see you around the curve of life's river. JO

Sizing Down

In the middle of this cold and dreary winter season, the hubby and I are up to our necks in some pretty big changes.  In a  couple of weeks we will have our house, here in our hometown, on the market for sale.  We're not giving up home roots by any means.  Just as we've done for the last nearly ten years, we will continue to share our time between our Texas hometown and our summer cabin in Colorado. We simply are not going to maintain a house here. Once the house is sold, we'll store a travel trailer here and use it like an apartment when we are at home.

It seems like an understatement to say that this project involves sizing down...this project involves major downsizing.  It's a bit like the old saying, "How do you eat an elephant?"  Just one small bite at a time. We've been consistently chewing away lately.  One thing that we've become convinced of is that this is a very good thing. Even if some unforeseen event stopped this ambitious plan in it's tracks, we are moving a long way towards simplifying our life.  Today, our lives are extremely cluttered and complicated. We have lots of stuff. That stuff often gets packed away, pushed back, to make room for new stuff. 

Here are some tips about downsizing that I've come to realize:

        *Our hearts tell us that some things must be held on to.  You know..."Oh-h, that's grandma's favorite bowl. Everytime I look at it, I remember ???" When's the last time you looked at it? What good is it doing in the top of cabinet collecting dust?  Either, get rid of one of your bowls and USE the keepsake or give it to the kids. Surprise, you say, they don't want it. Then, keep a thing or two in a place where you can see and enjoy it or sell it.  Give the kids the money. I promise they won't turn that down.

        *Start going through your accumulation, a bit at a time, now. Don't wait until something forces you to get rid of things or leave the children burdened with the disposal of your things.  They will sell it for a 25 cents in a garage sale or give it to the Goodwill.  Pare down your things while you have time to do what you want with it. 

        *Be ruthless and be organized.  When you tackle a closet or under the bed or a storage cabinet, have several boxes or plastic storage totes available.  If it's no longer good to you, you don't want it, put it in the "sale" box and put a price on it...what would you sell it for in a sale? When it's time for that sale, it will be a lot easier.  Make hard choices.  Try to keep the true keepsakes to pack away at a minimum.  Decide if you can display or use other things that you've just saved.  Example, my mother-in-law's silverplate ware has lived, in it's case, under many a cabinet for years.  I actually like the set. Supposedly, it's not good to put silverware in the dishwasher. Well, in a travel trailer, no dishwasher. I'm going to use it, suddenly feel excited about having it. The same for some other collected and inherited dishware...I'm going to use it. 

        *Label every box and storage box, so you know what you have.

You would be amazed at how good it feels to get rid of things that just lurk and never really get used. You really don't have to have several of everything, just the useful amount and your favorite.  Get busy, you will feel better and smaller.

Performance Issues

Don't get excited...this is not a "Fifty Shades of Grey" story. It is about job performance. The hubby and I, in general have a pretty good partnership.  He does many jobs that I can't and don't want to do and I do many that he could but won't do. I have to be fair, it's not that he makes no effort at all.  One of the jobs that he has accepted is to help a bit with the evening meal. His duties are to get out the placemats, napkins, plates and silverware and to fill the tea glasses.

On his good days, he manages pretty well.  As long as the tea is made--that would involve the complicated process of unwrapping two cold brew tea bags and putting them in a jug of cold water. No more than six questions of
"How're you doing?...can I put the ice in?...do I need to wait?...is it time? We usually have something to eat with and iced tea by mealtime.

Lately, he had developed this habit of disappearing to his shop about 30-45 minutes prior to dinner. Other than him growing weary of my stimulating cocktail hour conversation, I've not the slightest idea of what the "old guy" is doing out there.  Is there a girlfriend in the trunk of his beloved vintage Mustang? Is he testing his home brewed moonshine?  Is he practicing his clog moves to his twangy bluegrass tunes? It's anybody's guess. 

However, at about that time, I kick into high gear. It's time to prepare dinner and I get into my been there and done that a million times, multi-tasking mode.  I'm in a whirl of busy-busy and you're not to mess with me.  So, last evening, the man saunters inside about ten minutes before the magic time of dinner is ready.  He stands in his genius disguise (or perhaps his drunken stupor) and stares at his jobs that are already done. 

I give him a minute or two to ponder. The creaking wheels turning in his head echo in the kitchen.

I say, "I'm sorry to tell you, but I'm going to have to let you go."

"What-t-t??" he blinks at me.

"You're fired.  You suck at this job."

Now, when I told my good friend of this incident, she said, "Don't be hasty, maybe you should try two weeks suspension without pay."

Our youngest daughter, always business proper, asked me some pertinent questions.  Was he properly trained?  Does he understand the importance of his job to mealtime? Is he frustrated, does he act safely, does he have a good attitude? Does he know that I care about him as a person?

Well, years of training  proved to be fruitless. I would say he is untrainable. He doesn't seem to be particularly frustrated or worried about the importance of his work.  Safe? The man would run in front of a semi-truck to save a kitten. The only attitude he has is "If you don't like it, you can kiss my a--".

In spite of all these considerations, I'm thinking of keeping him on.  He is useful and good at many things and I do care about him as a person---that is, when he's not being the south end of  horse.

Do You Believe in Fate?

Have you ever thought about choices, decisions you made in your life and realized that your life could've been so different? I read a quote that said, Fate is the opportunity to go right or left. Destiny is a one way street.  I have thought more than just a few times, what if I had made a different choice, what if I had passed that way a few minutes sooner, what if I hadn't been in that place at that time....etc.?

Because I believe in accountability and self sufficiency, I tend to think that we make a lot of our own fate. However, so much of life is utterly beyond our control.  I generally stand at a crossroads, when it's a major decision and ponder long and hard about what path I will choose.  The truth is, so many very small and minor decisions alter our lives enormously.  We make those blind decisions often, having no way to foresee how they will impact us. 

No question, humans make stupid choices. Sometimes, you see someone given a "this or that" choice and when they choose, you want to scream, "Are you freakin' kidding me! You choose that?"   I know that some of you would argue with me vigorously, but I thought the movie Thelma and Louise was the pinnacle of stupidity.  I mean, give-me-a-break...those ladies had been making stupid decisions through the entire movie. Then in the end, they sail off the end of a cliff in a convertible to a fiery death. I often say to my hubby, when I observe someone act with a complete lack of intelligence, "They pulled a Thelma and Louise."

Of course, things aren't always that obvious.  Perhaps, you choose to turn left instead of right, maybe you can just circle back if it's not the right way...or may-y-be it leads you into dangerous territory and there is no circling back.  Many times, I've thought about the events many years ago that changed my life for certain. The hubby's mother, newly divorced and looking for a new life for herself and her teen age son, accepted a transfer from her company. Not knowing anyone, she moved her son and herself to my hometown.  What if that hadn't been her choice or even option?  Was it my life long love and I's destiny to be together, would we in some other unpredictable way have met...somewhere, sometime? Do you have to be a romantic or a believer in fate to think so?

Personally, I don't believe that it's all written down somewhere in a heavenly tablet, what will happen in your life. I believe we have a considerable amount of control. The job you DO or DON'T take, the person you DO or DON'T marry, the drink you DO or DON'T take, the new hairdresser you DO or DON'T decide to try (Oh my goodness, have I developed a growth on one side of my head or is she blind in one eye?)  We have some control and hair does grow back out. The question is about all those other things that we seem to not be able to influence at all. 

If we choose the road to the left, will some of the same things happen to us that would've happened on the road to the right? Ah-h, my sweet partners in this mysterious existence, I do not know. These winter days cause deep thoughts. 

One of my favorite quotes is by Robert Frost---Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.

The Heart of a Tyler Rose

In my hometown, just a few years after my hubby played football and graduated from one of the local high schools, a large young man with a heart that exceeded his size played spectacular football at that same school. Earl Campbell led his team to the State 4A Championship and went on to win the Heisman Trohpy in college.  Nicknamed the Tyler Rose, his professional career earned him the widely accepted and deserved reputation of one of the best power backs in NFL history.

With the Superbowl looming, I found myself thinking of Earl. Now, I wouldn't try to kid you and say that I'm a huge football fan.  I have to concentrate hard to follow, I don't know all the complicated rules of the game. When they fake, I'm usually stupidly hunting for the ball as they charge down the field and make the big play. I seem to need a more personal connection to a player or team to stay interested. Such as watching my young and agile future husband hustle up and down the field, so many years ago...I never took my eyes off him.  Or even the newer pro players that have ties to my town, Matt Flynn and Johnny Manziel. 

But, it was much more than football that brought Earl Campbell to my mind. The character and courage of the man makes him someone that I truly admire.  I was disappointed  a year or so ago when I wasn't in town for a visit he made home. A street was being named for him. When I read the story I realized how much I would have enjoyed meeting him and getting his autograph. At my age, I've become so aware that persons that you can truly respect seem to be increasingly rare.

When Earl was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame, one of his favorite coaches introduced him. Bum Phillips said, "I want to thank Earl's mother for raising a man that knows how to live right, on and off the football field."  I believe that is a very accurate description.  Earl loved his mother and family.  He played the game with all his heart and his strong and powerful body paid a huge price for his relentless dedication.  Even from the wheelchair that he mostly is in these days, and even through the pain that his battered body dishes out to him, that beautiful and gracious smile shines. He is a man of integrity, a man that I believe any person would be proud to know. 

Unfortunately, we live in times where celebrity is often extreme and obscene.  Merely being a sports super star, a movie star, a religious leader or even the president of our great country does not seem to require a person of fine character. It's a great disappointment to me, not that people are human, that they are not perfect but that people who are given great opportunities don't seem to value the qualities of honesty and courage and personal accountability. 

This Sunday, we're having a few friends over. It will be a fun evening of food and football watching. I've decided that during that over hyped extravaganza, I'm going to remember Earl Campbell.  Not just his hard rolling mighty performance on the football field, but the man who worked hard to achieve, handled adversity with bravery and has earned my admiration.