Change...Absence and the Heart

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, they say.  I've certainly been absent lately.  Have you missed me?  I've missed being here, talking and musing with you.

First there was our plan. An idea that we knew would bring big changes in the lives of the hubby and I. We also knew it would be a huge undertaking...selling our house in our hometown, downsizing. We would keep our Colorado cabin and a travel trailer here at home, using it much like an apartment when in Texas.  We cussed and discussed and decided that would be our grand plan.  It seemed far away and we began to gnaw away, just a nibble at a time.

Then, BOOM! The For Sale sign went up on Friday afternoon, by Saturday afternoon, we had two offers.  Suddenly, we were flaying and floundering, paddling as fast as two old folks can against the storm of change that seemed to engulf us.  It has been three weeks of chaos.  Contracts and negotiating, packing and selling stuff, inspections, appraisals and more negotiating.  The work and the stress seemed to never have an end. 

Hard decisions had to be made. Even when the mind is set, the stubborn heart isn't always in agreement.  "Aw-w, what about this ? I can't get rid of grandma's old do-dah...can I?"  The mind says, look, old girl, you made this decision. Stuff has got to go.  The heart makes a painful cracking noise and the tears flow.  Of course, butt tired exhaustion doesn't help with the choices.

Well, it's been three weeks and we still have our heads above the water and the flow is a bit calmer. I just packed away a small framed saying, Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. It applies.  The three daughters came, chose everything they wanted. That was good. Instead of them going through our years of accumulation because they had lost one or both of their parents, we had the joy of giving them things because of a positive event.  There was a huge sale and in spite of showers, the shoppers came like buzzards on a dead cow and picked us clean. 

So, now we sit, our voices echoing in the emptiness, in a living room with a sofa and a coffee table that belongs actually to the new buyer. We have our mattresses on the floor and we have two plates in the cabinet and the basics to survive for the next ten days.  A new travel trailer awaits to be picked up on the day after the closing,  the things we couldn't let go of and will go to the cabin huddle in storage.  We're still not able to lay on our backs and float and won't be for a long while yet, but not paddling near as frantically.  Change is rarely easy for humans, particularly aging ones. However, I truly believe that change is good for the mind, the body and the heart.  It forces a person into new territory and stimulates the imagination as to what is unknown, unseen and around the next bend. You just have to keep paddling. We'll see you around the curve of life's river. JO