Social Media Muck

I have a real love/hate relationship with social media.  Up until perhaps a year ago, I refused to "participate".  Even now, I don't put a whole lot of personal things on.  It might not be completely logical, but things about my children or grand children just feel not safe to me.  I actually have a page that I THOUGHT would mostly be for my novels and use my pen name.  I have a total of less than 10 friends.  Some folks just cluck their tongues when I say that and give me one of those poor old thing looks.

 

So I'm ON, in my own little world. Even though I hate to share a lot, I have to admit that I greatly enjoy seeing other's posts and the things that are going on in thier lives.  Since you get to enter music and other things that you personally enjoy, then you get all those updates and interesting posts that are right up your alley.

 

Having said the part that I do enjoy and since the ho-ho days are about over, I can bitch...can't I? Never mind, I don't need your permission.  I 'bout used up all my patience and cheer during the season.  What I truly do not like is that you feel like an idiot if you get a "friend" request, accept out of guilt and later find out they didn't really request your special friendship at all.  I also hate really needy folks---I don't mean that you have a problem or heartache like everyone does sometimes and need an ear or a little comfort. I get that.  I'm talking those constantly, if they don't have a problem, they post someone else's. They need a hug, need a prayer...most of the time, you don't even know the person in need, they are a friend of a friend's friend.  AND, they try to make you feel crappy if you don't like, pray, send a hug, etc.  Sorry to be an old grouch, but  come on, what ever happened to things being private and getting comfort from your real friends and family. Not the whole world.

 

You know, I am so sad...I'm actually heart broken for all the pain and suffering and outrageous injustices that are in our world. It sometimes keeps me awake at night with a hurt in my soul for the ugliness. But, PA-LEESE, do not try to tell me how to feel. Do not bury me in sad pictures of animals (over and over and OVER) and sick hurting children. Don't try to cram things down my throat. One evening of television often makes me feel like I've been through a freakin' house of horrors.   I make my own choices about what causes  seem important  and it's my private business who I give to.  You can't force people to care or love or send you a hug.  And, honestly; anyone who thinks that their life will be better, their problems less because someone on social media gives you a like or sends you a hug or sympathy will most likely never be free of problems or have a better life.

 

This must sound like the sourest grapes ever stomped.  I truly DO enjoy seeing your grandchildren, your family, the new baby---I am sincerely sad for your loss or illness or sick loved one.  Social media, like most new technology, can be amazing. If you feel good about sharing there, or receive some comfort, I sure don't have the teeniest right to begrudge you that. But, in my opinion, when you start returning and saying "I posted this and it didn't get any likes or comments. What is wrong with you people?"---like in the overall scheme of things, it makes a rat's ass what someone on Facebook or any other web site thinks---you don't need social media, you need professional counseling.

WHEW-W! Got that out of my system.  Gotta go check Facebook...Hope you're planning a Happy New Year.

The Grinch and Me

It's sure the season.  Slinking behind and amongst the Ho, Ho, Happy, the Grinch never fails to make a visit to my house.  He pokes and prods, digs around in the mucky memories and like so many other folks, he often leaves me feeling blue---his job well done.

 

Ah-h, mister green and mean,

In the Christmas cracks he creeps.

Into my old heart he peeks.

 

Can he find a sore spot---an old ow-wy

that heal did not?

He tries his stinking bestest. Because Santa Claus, he is NOT.

 

He prances and dances with his ugly glee.  Sprinkling his sad all over me.

Then in his glorious grinchiness, sprints away to spread more of his holiday drear.

 

Christmas seems to be an exaggerated reflection of our lives.  It seems to come at the end of the year and for many, it is a reminder of all the things that DID NOT bring us happiness in years past.  It's true, we miss loved ones that are no longer here to share with.  While the world sparkles and laughs, the missing, the mistakes and misfortunes haunt us like Dicken's ghost of Christmas past. 

 

It has always been my belief that laughter is the very best medicine.  At Christmas, like in my life, I've really worked on kicking the Grinch on down the road.  There is absolutely joy and beauty and tremendous giving spirit in the world.  The secret of having joy in your life is to allow yourself to be happy for those that have peace and happy hearts all around you.  When you can get past yourself and feel true gladness for the good fortune of others, then you perhaps will have earned your place among them.

 

 

 

 



Underneath the Skin

Just because a person is covered in skin doesn't make them human.  Similarly, just because a person has a brain housed in their skull doesn't mean they are capable or even inclined to use it.  Every day, beings who populate this earth prove they do not possess the intelligence to qualify as human beings.

 

My point? Fidel Castro was a totalitarian dictator. No matter how deep you dig, learn the facts about other dictators, whether Communist or otherwise, you will find no history of a totalitarian dictator being a humanitarian. The very definition is the elimination of private property, all goods owned in common and a single authoritarian government controlling all means of production. A dictator is the sole authority, with all resources going to the wealth of his state. Ultimately, to him self. It might be promised that the wealth of the state will be shared by all the population but it has NEVER been so. The only wealth in Cuba is for the privileged and elite.  The majority of the country, the common man is destitute, with no opportunity to improve their situation.

 

Castro, like Stalin and Lenin left their people impoverished, imprisoned, brutalized and terrorized. He and other dictators before him were responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths, for torture and extreme human rights abuses.  These type of powerful people may appear to be human.  I quoted in one of my novels,...sometimes the evil and depravity of humans is upholstered in the most normal looking skin. I believe this.  I would say that people who profit and feed off of the suffering of their fellow human beings are just animals.  That is an insult to animals because the huge majority of animals only kill for survival and from instinct. Animals possess no conscious.

 

When one person dies, either at your hand or by your order, you are a murderer.  When thousands die due to your actions, you are a mass murder. The free people of America have no clue what it would be like to live under such oppression.  I pray that I will never see what oozes underneath the shell of such sub humans.

 

There should be no grief, no tears, no glorification or condoning of this man.  Any time a ruthless dictator in this world passes away, it should be a time of celebration.  There are others still surviving on our earth and there should never be any pretense of such a person being a fellow human being.

 

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanks for this country, The United States of America and the life that it gives me the opportunity to have.  May you all prosper and have peace.

What's Happening at Your Child's School?

I truly believe that public school should be strictly for education and not for indoctrination.  While a knowledge of current events and civics is part of an education, it is suppose to be offered from a purely unbiased point of view.  Just as there is a mandate for separation of church and state, there is not supposed to be a propaganda filled curriculum where any one political view is promoted.

 

I have a feeling that no matter which side you were on in the presidential campaign, many of you have been appalled to see and hear what is going on in our schools---from the elementary grades to the high education (supposedly) colleges and universities.  Whether you are sending your young children off to school or your young adults have entered college, the college that you worked, saved and spent a lot of your money to give your child, are you truly okay with the teachers and educators imposing their own political and societal philosophies on your offspring?  Isn't that your place and job?  Are you okay with safe sanctuaries being  created on our college campuses? Is it acceptable to you that it is being taught in a classroom that our new President  is a racist...would it be fine if Hillary Clinton had won and it was being taught that she is a liar and a corrupt cheat?  

 

I say it is absolutely not the job of schools to choose one political set of beliefs and be allowed to teach that as fact to our children.  Since when, is one faction's values the only right values.  ONE side is not democracy and one side being promoted to our children in schools is not education. It is PURE PROPAGANDA.  You know---propaganda, such as in Communist State controlled countries. 

 

Not a very high number of citizens have the option of putting their children in private schools where they know what is being taught or home schooling them.  I say, be very watchful of what is happening at your children's school.  Be sure that you talk to them, that they know how you feel about the current events.  And while you're at it, be sure that your mind is not closed and that you teach them to have some room in their mind for opposing views and beliefs. 

 

This is not the United LIBERAL States of America or the United CONSERVATIVE State of America. This is the constitutionally free UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

Thanks to our Patriots---Disgust with our traitors

When you march and protest with a loud and strong voice, you are exercising the rights that a free America promises you.  Signs and shouts and any displays of public disagreements are allowed. When you destroy the property of your fellow citizens---as far as I'm concerned, when you burn or desecrate the United States flag, you are a traitor.

 

The flag is the symbol of ALL Americans and our rights. Most importantly it is a symbol of all the people for over two hundred years that have given the ultimate---have sacrificed their lives, the ones that have lost their health and the families who have grieved for the loss.  Every one paid the highest price to protect the freedom that we all enjoy. 

 

We have mostly young and spoiled citizens who do not have one clue about sacrifice or patriotism, who are disrespectful and full of their own importance.  They have no idea about what the US flag truly represents.  They have been taught that their wants and needs comes above all. When they cry because the election or any other thing isn't their choice, the get counseling, they don't have to take their exams, they are the downtrodden and oppressed.  

 

Have any of these people ever stood beside the flag draped coffin of someone they loved?  Do they have anything productive to be doing?  How many of them have spent one single day in a battle zone or in a country where rights and privileges and safety are non existent?  

 

I believe deeply in every single right that our Constitution guarantees us.  I also believe that people who have no more intelligent way to protest against things that they disagree with than to burn the flag that is not just theirs but ALL American's, are disgusting and show complete disregard for the rights of others.  Exercise all the rights that you are promised, but I believe that desecrating the flag should be against our laws.

 

I give my thanks to each and every member of our military and to all of our patriots.  To flag burners, I say "Shame on you. You're an embarrassment."

 

 

NEED A HAPPY DAY

NO news, NO politics, NO sad or bad.  One sweet day to breath-e-e and thank the heavens that I'm alive and well. 

Do You Smell That?

There was an old saying, "You couldn't clean that up with Bab-O."   That's what I feel like about this presidential campaign.  The choices that we have facing us make me want to go take a hot bath---scrub down my counter tops. I'm not sure if we could even boil away the stench that is following both of these candidates.  I am sick at heart and in my gut at the extreme lack of character that they both possess.

 

Personally, I just can't find any peace in choosing either one.  I've been around a lot of years and I do know that there is bad that escalates all the way to pure evil.   A person that talks and behaves vulgar and crude, shows disrespect, not only for women but for anyone that holds opposing views,  that is arrogant and full of themselves is not a person that I could respect or point out as an example to my children. A person that can't stop telling me how successful and important they are and offers plenty of grandiose promises with no true explanation of how they will fulfill them is not someone I would like to vote for.

 

On the other hand---a person who has been in powerful positions in our government for nearly three decades and shown more than a few times that they are willing to use and abuse their power for their own benefit is certainly not my choice.  More frightening is the consistent lies and multiple suspicions of literally breaking our laws. There is the "what difference does it make" attitude---a person that will look straight into the camera and the eyes of the American citizens and act as if WE are ridiculous for questioning their integrity.  Most frightening, the documented facts that over fifty people that would be considered their enemy have died.  DEAD! people that have had accidents, committed suicide---some deaths that might have had reasonable cause but many that are actually not explainable.  To me, this is the bad that moves up onto the level of evil. 

 

I wish I could offer some solution, I can't.  I believe we have to recognize that we have let this country sink to these levels.  There is a raw sewage stink up to our knees and I wonder how we're ever going to clean up.

 

 

Rumors of War

There's been a lot of stories and rumors floating around in recent days about the threat of war. Stories about how Russia suggested that all of it's citizens living abroad and their families return to the mother country. A report of a three day disaster drill in Russia, in which 40 million participated, concerning a nuclear strike. Does this mean anything? Could we have a World War III?

 

You would have to have your head completely buried in the sand to not be aware that the whole world is volatile these days.  From terrorist to civil unrest, even here on our own soil, its a dangerous environment.

 

However, the possibility of our country having an invasion type of home ground war, such as happened in the movie, RED DAWN is practically zero.  There are approximately 300 million guns owned by citizens in America. There are six million registered gun owners in Texas alone...six million, if each owner only possessed one gun.  There is no one on the face of our turbulent earth that would be foolish enough to physically invade the USA.  As Hitler said, "The first thing that must be done to conquer a country is to disarm it's citizens." WE are not and will not be disarmed. 

 

Does that make us safe from attack?  Far from it.  The most probable and highly possible way that we will be thrown into chaos will be an attack on our power grid.  If an enemy could take down our power, our utilities and communications they would cause unimaginable catastrophe nationwide.  And, they would be counting on the destruction of our daily culture to cause us to turn those weapons against each other. 

 

Each of us truly needs to let our minds imagine the long term consequences of such an attack.  Like all apocalyptic scenarios...should you start living your life in fear that tomorrow will bring disaster? No, but you should absolutely think of what you would do to protect you and your family and how you would survive either for a short term or for a very long time.  There's a very long distance between unreasonable panic and being prepared.  Trust me, because there are people in the world that would love to see the downfall of America, it is always possible.



Is Aggravation Fatal?

    Can you die from sheer aggravation?  After being married to one man for fifty years...with the current outrageous presidential campaign...my list, like everybody's is seemingly endless.  I am still here, however.  I suppose even when you feel like you're aggravated to death, you are not.

    It has long been a source of frustration for me that I am required to have an ongoing relationship with a doctor.  When I think  about how, at my age, it's unavoidable, the blood pressure that is one of the issues that I'm forced to count on her to prescribe her pills for, just soars right up.  When I arrive at the office, my blood pressure is always higher than usual. 

    So-o-o, I'm back in town. I have an appointment with a new doctor, since my fifteen year physician is no longer available and recommended Dr. New and Improved.  First point of making me want to scream?  After over an hour of waiting, she swirls in, (like Loretta Young...anybody remember her?) smiles and introduces herself. "Sorry to tell you, it hasn't been quite a year since your last appointment for an annual and therefore your insurance won't pay yet."

   REALLY?!  No one knew that when I made the appointment or even an hour and a half ago.  My plump little old lady body that the scales just reported had not lost one single damn ounce perched on the edge of the exam table for nearly an hour. My legs dangled like a helpless child, my blood boiled and my mind planned all my arguments to give her.  I never go "quietly into the night" in the doctor's office.

   I would so like to slap that smile off her young and pretty face.  I will have to return in three weeks...I will have to get up at the crack of dawn, starve and drive back into town and wait and wait. I will pay my price like a hostage held for drug ransom.  And, just so this visit won't be a waste, says Dr. New, she has a list of innoculations that are HIGHLY recommended to keep my body from falling prey to creeping age and deterioration.

   I had to practically beg to get her to look at a spot I was concerned about...it looks fine but when I return, she can refer me to a skin doctor.  This, my dear friends, is what your doctor is about these days.  They prescribe, refer and run tests.  I know times change, often for the best, but Good Grief! The hubby and I had a family physician for years.  He took care of me, delivered three babies for me, and then took care of the babies. The man did everything short of major surgery in his office.

   How I would love to rant and rave to the doctor and medical system instead of you, but there is chronic deafness there. The patient's needs and complaints are drowned out by the noise of the huge money making machine. I'll just sit here and type out my frustrations with the one good arm that I have. The other one that I got two shots in---a latest miracle pneumonia and a life and death required tetanus---has hung limp and aching at my side for the last two days.

We Lose!

   The late 1990's movie, Primary Colors, was supposed to be a fictional portrayal of the presidential campaign of the Clintons. Kathy Bates played an excellent role of a loyal friend that was hired to investigate allegations that could be used against the presidential candidate. After some very disturbing revelations to her and the realization of how deeply flawed the characters of her previously admired friends were, she committed suicide. In the movie, at her funeral, the candidate tearfully admitted that Bate's character (Libby) had sent him a note before her death..."I am so f--king disappointed in you. Shape up!"

   I think that says it pretty well. That is precisely how I feel.  I'm so disappointed and my heart hurts at the choices, we Americans have come down to, to be the leader of our beautiful country. In a country of  over 3 million, in a campaign where we were offered options of many qualified citizens who were honorable, we will either have the despicable or the more despicable as our president.   Who ever wins this election, we lose.

   You can try to deceive yourself by saying...well, politics is dirty and governments are soaked with greed and corruption.  These things are true, even in a democratic and free society.  America has allowed these truths to become so prevalent that we are in extreme danger of losing every basic principle of good that made us a great country.

   Just because Hillary Clinton has very well learned the smooth speech of politics does not excuse her lies, unethical and perhaps illegal and self serving behavior while in the supposed service of her country.  And just because Donald Trump has never been in public service does not make him a better choice and excuse his arrogance, extremely crude crassness, his ruthlessness and unethical methods.  Character is of the heart and actions, words mean nothing. Both of these prospective candidates lie, cheat, cover their own asses and brag about what they have or will do for America...as if the truth of their former actions means nothing. 

   They are, in reality, the true representation of the United States government because it has become such a stinking cesspool of corruption that does not in any way represent the best interests of we the people. Until Americans quit voting for politicians based on their celebrity and the fact that they  promise or claim to believe in one thing that benefits our spoiled self interests...until we start demanding that our public servants have character, integrity and a love for this country...we are going to continue to swirl down the toilet. 

   We, the citizens of the United States of America, have lost already. We are about to elect and present to the whole world as our President, one of the two most disgusting examples of Americans that I can think of. The day that Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump takes the oath of office in Washington D.C. is the day we lose the last semblance of greatness that we have.



Just Shut Up

Contrary to what has been said, growing older doesn't always make you wiser.  Actually, aging makes you think you know everything with absolute certainty.  And yet, ironically, you realize you know practically nothing.  Real dilemma, huh?

 

One thing that I've learned and haven't enjoyed the lesson one bit is that often you JUST NEED TO SHUT UP.  Now, the hubby---he not only didn't enjoy the lesson, he flat hasn't learned it. You know, kind of like a bad perm (for those of you who remember or have had any experience with such).  You sit through endless minutes of stinky solutions and tight wound curls and wet mess. It's finally over, the curlers all removed and Crap! hair is still straight. It just didn't take.  Like that, with the old guy, some lessons just don't take.

 

I wish that I could climb up on my beautiful high horse and say, "I've learned that lesson well."  That wouldn't be totally true.  I have a mouth which can be far ahead of my sensible brain. Opinions, even strong ones are allowable. Not yours alone, unfortunately. When you take your opinions and beliefs and try to beat others to death with them, they seem to lose their value.

 

It's not easy to keep your mouth shut, sometimes. Not easy to think before you let things come spilling out.  Like when your grown children, family or friends you love are not living their lives like you think is right---you have a right to an opinion but it's not your life, it's theirs. Think about it, if you're so smart, why aren't they doing things your way?

 

No question, in this country of lying dirty politics, entitled victims and disrespectful privileged citizens, there are some real wrongs that need to be righted.  I think we do need to speak up and speak out. Our right to an opinion doesn't mean the right to bore the pants off the people we're sharing the earth with.   It could get really lonely, galloping around on your lofty perch or living out your years with nothing but your convictions keeping you company. If the horse is dead, bury it already. The most famous mime of all time said,
      It's good to shut up sometimes.---Marcel Marceau

Hanging on to Happy

I suppose that I write often about finding your happy place.  The world these days (and truthfully throughout time) is a beautiful but sometimes sad and horrid place. I read a quote that I like, Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace during the storm.

 

This is true, the storms will come.  Life is unpredictable and complicated, even for those that you might think have a perfect life.   I greatly respect those that have their faith and find comfort in "putting things in their God's hands".  For me, life taught me very early on that I was going to need to take care of myself.  I'm not good at trusting in someone else to fix my problems or soothe my heart. I do constantly strive to keep things in balance. 

 

I doubt that very many human beings are immune to feeling deeply sad or outraged at life's cruel unfairness or just plan tired and weary.  Whether on a close and personal level or as a part of mankind, the sad is very persistant in trying to rob us of our happiness. So, how do you hang on to happiness? 

 

Unfortunately, there is no magic cure. Even a caring diety wouldn't always give you the answer that you want to your problems.  Life is not a big whole, it's pieces---thousands of parts of all sizes and importance, stacked and piled and strung out. You have the choice of how you organize those pieces. When some are broken, or you've worn them out or they just don't seem to fit, YOU have to decide what is to be done with that piece of your life.  Maybe it can be fixed or perhaps you need to find a new piece.  If something is particularly painful or worrisome, it might not can be thrown out, but it can be pushed down or away.  Make it smaller or more distant, don't carry it around on your heart until all the good and valuable parts of your life are diminished and darkened by the bad and sad.

 

This isn't a Pollyanna---just get over it and accept point of view. This is reality.  We are small in the overall scheme of things. I have a friend that I recently told how much I appreciated that on social media, etc. she posts beautiful pictures of nature, sweet animals and mostly positive sharing. I've found that even when I'm having a bad day, I can't help but feel joy when I see those good things.

 

It sometimes is just a very small piece that you can share and sometimes you could give every piece that you possess and it would make no difference. You can hang on to happy, but it often means letting go of other things. You are not solely responsible for the well being of every person in your family or the world. You are responsible for your own happiness.

Does He Have the Right?

    Did Mr. Kaepernick have the right to not stand up for the Star Spangled Banner and the flag? Absolutely, he had the right. Should he have exercised his right at the football game? Absolutely not.

    Why would I be so sure of this? Because the American flag is the symbol of his rights. It represents ALL Americans and their guaranteed liberties.  It represents the unity of America. We all should believe in the freedoms that are protected for United States citizens on American soil.  Especially, if you have grievances, if you're protesting what you believe to be injustices in this country---you should be waving that flag proudly over your head. Under the protecting blanket of the stars and stripes you are promised that you can stand up, speak out and fight for change, with no punishment.

    We should stand and honor the flag together, always in unity. Then you are free to go your own way and exercise your right to correct the wrongs.  Freedom isn't the same as disrepect.  Just because you're allowed to do or say something doesn't mean it's the decent thing to do. The flag should never be dishonored, it should never be a question that it fly over American soil.  In all public places, any place (including our public schools) that is supported and sustained by the citizens tax dollars, it should be displayed.  It should not be accepted or allowed that it be desecrated or disrepected.

    We can be a diverse melting pot of a country, we can disagree and loudly protest. We can even rant and rave and cast our vote in defiance of our government. We should be able to agree on one truth, we are FREE and we have a national anthem and a flag that are symbols of that one truth.  It seems that we've become very confused in this country about what our rights are and what our responsibilities are as citizens to be a part of a unified people.  Since I have a right to my opinion, I say that Colin Kaepernick has many options and opportunities, both financial and celebrity wise, to make his protests public and to contribute to changing what he sees as a bad situtation. His flag is MY flag and we both should respect our flag and our country.

Are You Always Right?

In the movie, A Time To Kill, there's one of the most compelling scenes that I remember ever seeing.  Mathew McConaughey, a lawyer, defends Samuel Jackson for the murder of two young men who raped and left for dead his 10 year old daughter.  Of course, the movie is a story of extreme prejudice and human brutality. In the closing arguments MacConaughey recounts in painful and graphic detail the crime of kidnapping, rape and actually attempted murder of the young black girl. 

 

There are no dry eyes on the jury and any watcher is deeply moved. The lawyer stays silent for a few moments and lets the picture settle in. Then in a quiet tone, he says "Now---imagine the girl is white."

 

It is stunning, you are not prepared for it.  No matter how much you believe you're not prejudice or how much you've been on the side of Samuel Jackson, this one piece of dialogue is an instant slap of awareness.  In a second, my own daughters, my grandchildren flashed through my mind and it felt so personal.

 

In our very complicated world today, the issues and differences are not simple.  We are being confronted with problems that don't always have very clear answers.  The thing that really troubles me is that it seems to me that we've become extremely polarized.  You would think that in a world with so much information available, we would be more apt to see all sides of issues. Instead, I believe that we can always find views that support our opinions and we become very confident that we are right.  We seem to be losing sight of not just the other side, but of even the middle ground.  Let's face it folks, no one is 100 percent right, 100 percent of the time.

 

Standing on your principles is not the same as being so arrogant and self assured that you close your mind and heart to the beliefs of others or to the struggles and pain of others.  The distance between us can be vast and the issues that face us as citizens, not just of America but of the world, can be so deep and unclear that you don't want to even think about them. I'm an old gal, I often find myself just saying, "I don't want to think about that anymore."

 

Think about it, are you sure that you are right? Have you even approached the center of the road and gave a look to the other side?  The old saying about if you only walked a mile in the other person's shoes---is very relevant.  How can you possibly know that you're right and others are wrong, how can you possibly know how they feel, if you've never been in their place.

 

One of the complicated issues of today is the various implications and complications of the transgender community.  The hubby and I have an old and dear friend that we love very much. Most of this friend's convictions are based on his faith and we greatly respect that. We all have formed our beliefs and standards on things such as religion, our upbringing and other strong influences in our lives. In a discussion about some of the recent transgender issues---public restrooms access, etc.---he expressed his feelings very clearly.

 

Now, everyone that knows this man knows that he's a male.  Sometimes even crass, always blunt and obvious in his appreciation of women.  Friend is a man.  So, during this conversation, I said to my friend, "I want you to think about this, seriously. You know who you are, you know your gender and your sexual prefrences---never had a doubt, right?"   

 

"Right."

 

"Consider this. You're you, with all the feelings that you've always had, you're the man. But, unfortunately, when you were born you were lacking that manly equipment---oh horrors?! So, the doctor, your parents said well, obviously this is a girl.  The decision was made, you were a girl. You were dressed as a girl, raised as a girl, expected to be a GIRL.  Even with all those feelings that you have inside, you have to pretend to be a female. You are forbidden to ever live like or be a man."

 

How do those shoes feel?  Walk a mile in them and ask yourself again, Am I absolutely sure and right about what I would do in certain circumstances.  If I look hard enough, could I possibly see that distant other side of the argument?

 

There is never just one clear side, one totally right way. We need to have confidence in our beliefs and stand by our convictions, but we should never be so full of ourselves that we think we are the only righteous inhabitants of earth. If you've forgotten where even the middle ground lies, I can assure you that you are 100 percent wrong.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where Is Your Happy Place?

Too much politics, tv and internet will beat you right down into a deep depressing hole.  You simply must abstain from all that stuff for a while and find your happy place.

 

If I had to say there was one secret to finding happiness, it would be to MOVE.  No matter your age or situation, activity is the very best medicine for depression and the only real answer for staying as healthy as possible.

 

I'm not saying you have to climb mountains or run for miles. I'm simply suggesting that you lift your butt up and change it's location and look for a fresh attitude while your doing that.  Since I write, I can very easily find that I've spent hours in front of the computer.  It's also easy to get side tracked while researching and fall into the mire of bad & sad news, crappy politics and stupid human actions. 

 

Of course, each of us has to find their own peaceful and joyful place. One thing for sure, you will not get there without some effort. Here are some of the simple things I do to get happy:

 

                  * I actually play a mindless game on the laptop or my Kindle. It's good for the old brain and can be a complete distraction.

 

                  * I spend anywhere from a half hour to an hour in the yard, usually early morning. I water, prune and maintain the few flowers and four tomato plants that we have. Purposefully, I fill my gallon pitcher and walk to and from each location, enjoy looking at them and caring for them. I don't feed the birds but I do have several water containers (Sorry, if mosquitos and standing water is a no-no at your place) I greatly enjoy seeing the variety of birds that come to sip. Have to fill the containers everyday.

 

                 * I go to the small town that is near us, park the car and walk to the $ Store or grocery store or just around for a bit.

 

                 * I get out my camera, walk around outside and look for an interesting pic to take.

 

                 * I am very organized and I keep things squared away in the house.

 

                 *The hubby and I like to take day trips in the area, rock hunting, off road, occasionally some shopping---a change of routine and scenery.

 

These activities may sound boring as all get out to you, but they are motion and distraction. You must find your own places.  I do know that the world is actually a beautiful thing for the most part.   Buy and wear something you would normally not wear, eat something that you've never tried, have a sense of humor, listen to your favorite music, allow yourself to NOT do something that you think you need to do today, say "I love you, sorry but no."  Just give yourself a break.

 

If  breaks from responsibility are a constant in your life, then giving yourself another won't help. But when you open up to change or different as an exception to your norm, it can be very liberating. Like one of my favorite quotes, Don't do the same thing over and over and expect different results---that's the gist of it, at least. 

 

Breathe, find that happy place and let yourself dance around in it for a while.

                

 

 

 

 

Get a Job

Black lives matter

Ban guns, ban the Confederate flag, ban memorials, monuments, history books or any public display of things that offend one particular group.

Non citizens of the United States are entitled to the same privileges and rights as citizens.

Everyone is entitled to go to college and everyone should go for free, paid for by tax dollars. As a matter of fact, everyone should have equal everything. Even though we will all have nothing, that's right because no one will have more than you.

These are just a few of the outrageous and very loud demands and beliefs that are being promoted in our free country these days.  These are not the words of democracy, these are not part of the guaranteed liberties in our constitution...these are socialist ideas and these are alarmingly similar to creeds of the Nazis. 

 

Here are some of the bone chilling quotes of Adolph Hitler:

 

Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it and eventually they will believe it.

 

The very first essential for success is a perpetually constant and regular employment of violence.

 

It is not truth that matters but victory.

 

The day of individual happiness has passed.

How fortunate for governments that the people they administer don't think.

Do any of these statements remind you of the events and  rantings of today? We are in danger of losing our beautiful land of the brave and free. We're being ruled by the very small minorities and our long held values are being de-valued. We're being smothered in the falseness and mass hysteria of polictical correctness and we're being manipulated and cheated by corrupt government law makers.

The true freedom loving citizens of America need to wake up and those that would divide us in able to conquer us, need to back up. To those destructive dividers and the self serving liars I say...
       "Get a job, get a life. Find a purpose for your existence and don't blame the world for your failure to thrive. Pursue your own happiness and quit trying to tear down the very principles that allow you that right. Your guaranteed liberties never included the right for you to deprive others of their rights. The United States only has one grand promise, freedom for all. The politicians that are promising you all the things you think you need and deserve in life,  THEY ARE LYING TO YOU. You were never guaranteed a college education, a job or success and prosperity. You were only guaranteed the equal right to work for those things. Your fellow citizens do not owe you for long ago injustices, you are not entitled to a prosperous life, it has to be earned. Get over yourself, get some guts and stop whining. Get out of my country unless you want to get on with the business of living together in OUR country."

 

Cause and Courage

I just watched a twenty year old movie, Rough Riders.  It was a very well made film and from what I can find, historically correct in it's portrayal of the Spanish American War.

 

Was the reason for the war, simply America's Imperialistic desire, our wish for power and territory and resources or was it to rescue Cuba from oppressive brutality? The oppression was real and happening, but the benefit for our country on a national and global level was also without argument.

 

Watching this movie, with stars such as Tom Berenger in an excellent recreation of Theodore Roosevelt, as well as many other talented actors---Sam Elliot, Gary Busey, Buck Taylor and more---made me have lots of thoughts about courage and bravery.

 

Another of my favorite movies is Glory. This is the story of Colonel Robert G. Shaw and his black regiment of soldiers in the Civil War, the 54th of Massachusetts. They were famous for their part in the unsuccessful charge at Fort Wagner where Shaw and a high number of his soldiers were killed. Shaw was 26 years old.

 

These stories of valor are but a drop in the ocean of the thousands and thousands of men and women who have acted with extreme gallantry and honor in the defense of a heart felt cause. Is the cause always just and right?  No, it's not.  The cause isn't always right, but the courage is always real.

 

I don't believe that courage, true heroism is deliberate or planned. It comes from something deep within and propels a human to make, often the ultimate sacrifices.  In a moment of certainity in the rightness of cause, a person will stand up, speak up or move forward and completely disregard their own self preservation.  These acts of bravery renew my belief in the goodness that exists in mankind.

 

 John F. Kennedy said, The courage of life is often a less dramatic spectacle than the courage of a final moment; but it is no less a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy.  Bravery and honor are present in our everyday lives and also in our last moments. 

 

In our world and country today, we need courage. Perhaps we can find ours in the actions of those that came before.

We can have no '50-50' allegiance in this country. Either a man is an American and nothing else, or he is not an American at all. --Theodore Roosevelt.

 

 

 

I Pledge Allegiance

Very Dull in Mind

 

Webster definition of stupid- *see title, dense, dumb, fatuous, mindless, obtuse, simple, slow, unintelligent, witless, feebleminded.

 

I'm sorry folks but I wish to add Pokemon to the official definition.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that playing ANY games is stupid. I actually think that games are good for people's brains, especially older people.  Even games on phones, tablets, etc. 

 

Playing the games isn't stupid. Walking around in a stupor in public, playing the games on your phone is the absolute epitome of dumb.  As if it wasn't scary enough to have folks zombie shambling around having all kinds of personal conversations on their phones! Now, they're going to endanger the rest of us with their total distraction, not only risk our physical safety but possibly infect us with their idiocy.   Seriously, we're talking about people not stable enough to walk and chew gum at the same time, but they're going to play a game and competently function on the street---sure, they are. 

 

There's a valid argument for needing some distraction in this old world. Every single day something horrific and disturbing is happening. But, in a dangerous world where people are dying and starving and hurting, some open distractions just seem obscene to me.  Surely, there is something more productive that we can do when we're out in the world---even if it's just to respect your fellow human beings and give them a smile.

 

Being raised in the south, in Texas, manners were not an option. Class wasn't something that you could buy or that you were born with, it was something that earned with character, grace, honor  and respect.  Haley Joel Osment (in the photo) has every right to be terrified. Our society embraces the crude, rude and inane. I don't see much difference in brain-dead and dead-dead. The earth is literally crawling with the dumb. Pokemon is simply the latest garish entry into the Parade of the Pea-brains.



Bored-Bored-BORED

I'm fond of saying that I like my own company. Writing is a rather solitary occupation and I can get lost in it and not be very interested in doing other things.  Sometimes, the problem is---I bore me. 
 

Never mind that glassy eyed, gazing into the distance look that comes over some folk's face as my drawly voice washes them like a dog that won't stop licking, with a story.  I've got me, right? I've got the words on the page. 

 

The hubby has become practiced at faux expressions. 

"I saw that look," me.

 

"What look?  I don't know what the heck you're talking about," incredulous him.

 

"Oh, ho, ho-you know. Rolling your eyes, thinning your lips. I saw it."  (Our daughters always said, watch out if daddy gets that thin lipped look.)

 

He throws me his best fake smile, "Well honey, I'm always interested in what you're saying." With fifty years of practice at protecting his backside, he lies. Pure survival instinct.

 

It's true. Life---just isn't always exciting.  I tell myself, remember those old days when there was no time to be bored.  Those days of making a living, raising children and hoping you could feed them next week.  Lots of struggles and work and worrying to do---not a minute to be bored.

 

What bothers me is how much this generation, admittedly even our generation, has become so accustomed to sound bites, flashes of action on the television, short and sweet texts on the cell phone, a world that seems to be moving like an antique silent movie,  in double time choppy clips. We're so used to that speed of life that if there's a lull, a slow and silent lapse, we are bored.

 

I've always hated it when someone said, "I'm bored." The standard answer to a child, used to be, "Well Missy. I will sure find you something to do."  Of course, children, not unlike us all---don't really want to be occupied, they want to be entertained.  Work isn't bad medicine, though. The advice that probably rings the truest is get up off your bottom and move around. Movement, simple or active can be good for the body and soul.

 

Listing to yourself all the ways that you're fortunate is a good way to discourage your boredom. Reminding yourself of the wonders and beauty of our world (don't think about the crap), can help. We just have to look at those slow-w-w times as an opportunity to recoup and learn to relish them.  Every minute of our lives doesn't have to be full to the top and bustling with activity.  We don't have to be seeing, hearing, accomplishing something every waking moment.  Sometimes, it's okay to just sit, be thankful and breathe. At my age, I try to be thankful that I am breathing.

Writers---Let Me Tell You a Secret

BORING ALERT!  If you aren't a writer or wanting to be, you will not find this interesting. 

I will preface this with these two points





*Though I've been writing all my life, I've been self publishing for about three years. I have sold and do sell books but I'm no million best seller (I can honestly say thousands sold) or award winning author (my rewards are that people do read my books). Obviously, this is my personal unsolicited opinion that I'm sharing today.

*I am not discouraging authors from using any tools available to improve their writing skills.  You don't have to have a degree or a piece of paper that says you are a writer. The internet is full of free help and advice on grammar and punctuation, voice, tense and point of view, guides and suggestions about plotting, structure and creating fiction and non-fiction.  I urge you to continuously research and study any material you can get your hands on. 

I also have to echo a common piece of advice. Grow a thick skin. Whether you have requested a critique of your work or you receive a review,  look at every piece of the appraisal carefully. Ask yourself honest questions about whether you understand what has been noted and if you need to make adjustments and corrections to your writing. Even if it's a stinging negative opinion, do not discard it. Analyze it and use it to your benefit.

Quoting Charlie, "SIGH-H". I've said that and now I'm going to tell you the secret. There are no Laws of Writing. The grammar Nazis have no power, the comma police can't put you on trial, a run-on sentence will not get your insurance cancelled or cause bodily injury.  It's true that there are some rules of writing, some widely accepted standards that are presumably intended to make your words readable. There's some logic to that.

Let's face it, unless you're some eccentric gnome of a writer, hunched over your computer and not giving a whit if your word soup ever sees the light of day, you really would like to be read.  Whether you're writing fiction or non-fiction, self-improvement revelations or erotic rot, you really would like to have someone read it. Crass as it may seem, in order to read it, they need to buy it and that has it's own little advantages.  We can probably agree, you want your work to be read.

I self publish, frankly because I can. I became aware that it was a possibility and ran like a gal with her panties aflame with it.  It has been a great joy for me and I'm proud of my minor success. Best of all, I don't have to answer to editors, agents or publishers. In reality, I don't have to answer to anyone except myself and the readers that I've come to treasure. 

Now, if you have your heart set on being published traditionally, then I encourage you to pursue that with enthusiasm. You will have to deal with the gods that control that domain and you will need to conform to the their standards and self imposed laws.  I'm not being snarky when I say, best of luck.

As for me, I've learned that the only important people are the readers. It is very important to me to present the most professional and enjoyable work that I'm capable of offering to those readers. I want them to travel with the characters that come from my heart through unexpected adventures that come from my imagination.  I don't write for agents or publishers. I'm not trying to please them.  I don't have to "grab" my reader in the first twenty words or apologize for voice or style. If a stray comma trips up the reader on occasion,  I hope that I've created enough interest to make them stomp right over it.

Readers rarely give bad reviews based on the mechanics of writing. They might say, "That sucked." or "I didn't believe the story" or "Won't read another book by this author",  etc.  It's not that readers are stupid, they just want to read. They don't feel like it's their job to tell you how to write. Unless your writing is a jumbled unintelligible mess, they don't comment and simply don't buy again.  Editors, critics, and unfortunately, other authors often are the ones that give scathing bad reviews. The thing is, most of them have lost their ability to just read a story without seeing all the mistakes.  When you're trying to sift through the suggestions you're given, keep this in mind. Only you can decide, what is my goal with my writing? why do I write?

My secret is no law when it comes to your writing. Beware, do not allow your creative spark to be smothered in the fault-finding of arrogant experts. Weigh and pick your advice, work hard at your craft and keep writing.

In Need of a Giggle

One Man, One Gun

I doubt that there's many Americans who haven't thought about the tragedy in Orlando, for the past weeks. Who wouldn't? who couldn't possess compassion for such a senseless massacre of fellow human beings. There's such an ache in my heart and I've thought about it a lot. I've thought about why? thought about what should be done, is it possible that it could've been prevented. The thought that innocent people would be cowering in a bathroom and calling their mother or loved ones to say, I love you and I'm about to die, is just about the sickest horror I can think of. Just as it was on 911.

 

The bad guys will have a gun, if not a gun, a bomb. THEY will have their weapons of destruction. One good guy with a gun could've saved many lives in Orlando, perhaps nearly all. It's foolish to think that the solution is to take all the guns away. Should weapons that blast off hundreds of rounds in a short span be highly restricted?  I'm pro gun and I'm not certain that there is a legitimate reason for owning such weapons. And yet, the same facts still apply---a good responsible person will have no ill intentions for the weapon and the bad guys will still find a way to get them.

 

Our founders, writers of the Constitution knew well about tyranny and intended that the citizens of this new democracy would be protected from government over reach but also would be able to protect their home and family.  Think about a world where only governments had the stockpiles of weapons, no citizens of earth allowed to have guns.  Does that make you feel safe? Do you really trust the governments and their military to have the power?  Has the banning of guns prevented Paris or Europe from the terrorist attacks?  No incident comes to my mind of a shooter entering a place where the people would be armed and performing their maniac deeds. Even if suicide is their intention, their goal is to murder as many innocents as possible before they go down.

 

I'm so sorry for those of you who believe that you will stop this terror by disarming the good folks. The only hope that our society has for stopping these unspeakable tragedies is that we must shoot first. If our guaranteed rights are taken from us, if good people have no protection, then we will maybe die on a dirty bathroom floor or in our workplace or in the restaurant, our church or on our doorstep. Worst of all, we may die at the hands of a government who has ALL the power.

Who Made You God?

My heart hurts for the victims and families of the Orlando massacre

Who made you god?

What made you think that you have the right.

Who are you, of small mind and soul

To think you can choose who will live or die.

If there was such a god that believed in evil

Then he would not be sacred, he would be a demon.

When the seed of hate began to grow inside of you

It devoured your humanity and left a rotting heart.

Why are you here, in my beautiful America?

Why are you here, you terrorist, you haters.

You, who despise my country, my people

How much longer will you be allowed to come or stay.

I have no forgiveness, I have no understanding

I do not wish you to go in peace.

I wish to see you at the gates of Hades

With your victims as your judge.

If only they had the opportunity to shoot first

In Stephen King's The Green Mile, the character said, "He killed them with their love."   In America, our love, our trust, our tolerance, our almighty rights and freedom...all of our good traits that so many claim we do not have, those traits are being used to get close and destroy us.



Can Ya Fix That, Please?

In a long time marriage, you gradually assume what you presume is your job as a partner and generally take it pretty serious. The trick is that when you have a partnership, it is necessary sometimes for you to take on the job of the other partner.  Thing is, it's normal for one partner to not only take on the responsibility of certain jobs, it's typical that you begin to count on your partner to handle his or her duties. Easy to take it for granted that the job will get done and resent it if it doesn't.

Just recently, the hubby and I---forever, comprising and making new rules---had to come to new understanding.  We had both become defensive. If I mentioned that the board on the deck was going to have to be replaced, he, (assuming that it would be his job and he was right), immediately felt like it was a nag.  But, I wasn't nagging, just observing and didn't intend that he would jump right up out of chair and fix it. Just as when he says, this tastes different, (and my job is generally chief cook and bottle washer) he doesn't mean it's bad or that I made a mistake.  We had to agree that we wouldn't get offended at such small things.  After all, things change---such as taste buds, believe it or not. Most importantly everything isn't fixable.

It's true, not everything in your life or in the world can be fixed. Sometimes that old thing about learning to accept the un-changeable is the best tool we have for survival and preserving our sanity.

Some hurts or problems are plain un-fixable, incureable.  Those things need to be pushed behind you and moved past.  Not everything can be fixed, not everything can be changed to fit your particular liking and most importantly not everything is someone else's fault or anyone's fault. If you can't fix it, forget it.