In a long time marriage, you gradually assume what you presume is your job as a partner and generally take it pretty serious. The trick is that when you have a partnership, it is necessary sometimes for you to take on the job of the other partner. Thing is, it's normal for one partner to not only take on the responsibility of certain jobs, it's typical that you begin to count on your partner to handle his or her duties. Easy to take it for granted that the job will get done and resent it if it doesn't.
Just recently, the hubby and I---forever, comprising and making new rules---had to come to new understanding. We had both become defensive. If I mentioned that the board on the deck was going to have to be replaced, he, (assuming that it would be his job and he was right), immediately felt like it was a nag. But, I wasn't nagging, just observing and didn't intend that he would jump right up out of chair and fix it. Just as when he says, this tastes different, (and my job is generally chief cook and bottle washer) he doesn't mean it's bad or that I made a mistake. We had to agree that we wouldn't get offended at such small things. After all, things change---such as taste buds, believe it or not. Most importantly everything isn't fixable.
It's true, not everything in your life or in the world can be fixed. Sometimes that old thing about learning to accept the un-changeable is the best tool we have for survival and preserving our sanity.
Some hurts or problems are plain un-fixable, incureable. Those things need to be pushed behind you and moved past. Not everything can be fixed, not everything can be changed to fit your particular liking and most importantly not everything is someone else's fault or anyone's fault. If you can't fix it, forget it.
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