Great Expectations

It's a new year and a new day. Most of us are taking a deep breath, making some resolutions and hoping to make this one, better than last year. We are resolving to improve ourselves and our situations. That desire to be more is admirable and I personally believe that moving forward is a necessary goal for human beings. Whether it is a mile or an inch, we need to look ahead and move towards a new day.

The thing that has become so profoundly troubling to me is the overblown and false expectations that the culture of today has placed on all of us, particulary our children and young people.  Americans have a special knack for rushing headlong in one direction, going way past where we need to be and then having to backtrack to the proper place.  On one hand, we have tried to over balance, over level and equal out the natural events of life. There has been a determination that it is cruel for someone to be the winner and someone the loser, that to acknowledge the achievement of one is just not fair to the many.  On the other contradictory hand, the extravagant media, the publicity and promotion of success has given an unrealistic idea of how many people reach their loftiest goals.

In other words, a very teeny number of people win the big lottery, a tiny number become famous singers, writers, go on television and find a perfect mate (or on the ridiculous "I'll fill out this form and you will find me my true love"  internet sites).  A small minority of us are slim, beautiful and rich. It is just plain dangerous to believe that ANYbody can do ANYthing.  If that was true, then what would be the point? There is nothing wrong with wanting and trying to improve your life, but it is imperative that we are able to accept failure.  In this day, it seems that we don't even recognize failure. What is worse, it has become the popular thought, if I don't get what I wanted, what I tried for then it was someone else's fault. Most certainly no fault of my own: I did my best, I am supposed to triumph. Someone held me back, someone caused my failure. This has produced an era, a generation of people that are frustrated and constantly thinking they have been denied and deserve more.

Ever heard, "Look before you leap"?  The ethereal beauty in the picture, no matter how beautiful and light and lovely, will not float or fly if she jumps off that cliff...she will die. There is something to be said and learned from the quote, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. In this new year, do not give up your dreams and goals, but learn to be more patient and learn when to quit.  Another passage that I read was to not constantly spend your time fretting over where your next vacation will be, spend some time setting up a life that you do not need a vacation to escape. Boundaries can bring you security and peace, they don't have to be looked at as stone walls or never pushed out. Learning to live within them and make the most of your space can be as rewarding as an endless search for an illusive dream.  I have come to believe that some folks impossible searches are their eternal excuse to not adapt and improve where they are.