Ya' Don't Know Jack

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve and also happens to be my birthday. I'm not inclined to tell you "which" birthday.  Lucky me...always a party somewhere on my birthday.  Since it's my day and I choose not to think about any of the worrisome or unpleasant happenings in our world, I think I'll talk a bit about Jack Nicholson. Yep, Jack.

I would have to say that Mr. Nicholson is one of my favorite characters. He is definitely a character.  Because he is such a very splendid actor, whether he is playing a despicable and totally unlikeable role or a cuddly likable sort (not that often) you believe it. You either love or hate the man. Over his many years in the public spotlight, Jack has made some pretty interesting comments, personally and in his multitude of movies.  Here's to Jack and here's some gems of his wisdom:

My mother never saw the irony of calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

The minute that you're not learning I believe you're dead.

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.

I'll tell you one thing: Don't ever give anybody your best advice, because they're not going to follow it.

The camera photographs what's there.
 
I don't have any plugs or tucks but people do what they want. I look at it as mutilation.

I'm drowning here, and you're describing the water! (As good as it Gets)

 “You can’t handle the truth!” (A Few Good Men)


Happy Birthday to me....Happy New Year to you.   JO

One Child is Born

Twenty three years ago, on a cold and gray Christmas morning, I sat in this rocking chair, in a hospital room. I held the most beautiful human being I had ever seen, other than my own three adorable daughters, born to me approximately twenty years earlier. This was my first born grand child, less than twelve hours old. It was an amazing experience. In the days of the birth of my own children, you practically had to beg to get your sweet new baby brought to you. Now, here I rocked with my brand new first born grandchild in my arms. The most special Christmas gift that I ever received.

It was the youth of our grandparent-hood and we would be fortunate to have several more grand children. Each of them, are important and unique and so loved. Still, any grandparent would admit to a special little place in their heart for that very first one to arrive in your life.  The last twenty plus years have put gray in my hair and pounds on my body. The lessons learned as I watched my children's adult lives unfold and then my grand babe's are more than I can count.

I think that the biggest lesson I've learned is that we can't wrap up our children or grand children in a blanket of our own dreams and hopes and wishes. Oh, how we wish we could...look at that tiny creature in the picture. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we had a magic to insure that their lives would be happy and healthy. The truth of life, of course, is that there is no magic. We can only love them and teach them the best that we know how. They must find their own path, make their own mistakes and seek their own happiness.

Those we love have the ability to make us so proud and also the ability to disappoint and make us sad.  At my age, I've found this place of peace and acceptance.  It makes no difference if my prodigy go the direction I wanted, it only matters to me that they don't waste the gifts of intelligence  and opportunity that were given to them. It matters to me that they live their life with responsibility and accountability, in whatever direction they choose.

On this Christmas Day, I remember the pure joy that was in my heart on that morning so long ago, when that one child was born.  I remember all the years and children,  the dances and giggles, the anticipation of waiting for them to open their presents and the excited looks on their faces, the special days shared with family. Family that even with all their differences, shared food and laughter and a few hours when the world slowed just a little and we all felt safe and bonded....a touch of magic.

O. M. G. S. T. U. P. I. D.

Kids say "I want it, real bad."  I still feel that way sometimes. Today, I want real bad to gripe and complain, rant and scream about the politics and political correctness of America these days. But-t, I really promised that I would stay away from those things because they usually, in the end, make me the ass and tend to send my blood pressure through the roof.  So, as a compromise, I'm just going to talk about STUPID. Heaven knows there's plenty of that to go around. 

The Declaration of Independence stated that, We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal. The official definition of "all" is everything and everybody. All is 100% inclusive, there is no exclusion what so ever in all.  Why would anybody take offense or anybody have to apologize for saying "All lives matter."?    Human beings can be relied on to exert, with vigor, their God given right to be stupid---Dean Koontz

Our guaranteed right of free speech, to have a voice and to protest does not include the right to camp on taxpayer paid for public properties for unlimited time spans and use it for your toilet. It does not include the right to loot and steal from your fellow citizens or to damage and deface private or public properties. All have a right for others not to do that. For the first time, the weird and the stupid and the coarse are becoming our cultural norms, even our cultural idea.---Carl Bernstein

If you put naked photos of yourself on your phone, if you tell all of your private business on social media, if you go to parties and get stinking drunk or high as a kite...you do not deserve to have your privacy violated or to be raped. There are laws against those things. However, you still must be accountable and responsible for your own personal behavior.  As Forest Gump's mother told him (and probably your own) Stupid is as stupid does. 

Just because someone has been in movies, on television or joined the completely insane social media circus doesn't mean they know diddly squat about some things, particularly the extremely complex issues of our world. Visibility and celebrity does not make someone an expert. We need to stop listening to, giving credence to opinions and declarations that go dead against the self-evident truths that we hold in our hearts. We are all born ignorant, but one has to work hard to remain stupid.---Benjamin Franklin

The ever honest Ron White said, You can't fix stupid. I agree that it is an incurable and often fatal disease and obviously contagious.  Are all of our law enforcement officers racists and abusive? NO.
Are all of our black citizens criminals? NO.  Are all of our white, non black citizens racists? NO. Is our country currently being ruled by self serving politicians, severely tilted media and small loud groups who want to divide us? YES.  In order for the rights of all to be protected, those that believe in a free and democratic society will have to move to a middle ground and leave those that would purposefully divide us in the ditch. Some will always promote and perpetrate bad and destructive behavior but all have the right to speak against it. Every American citizen should find the courage to call ignorance what it is...stupid.

An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise.---Victor Hugo

Is There Any High Ground?

 

I ask myself regularly, it seems, is there really any high ground to take these days?  I climb up on my lofty perch, confident in my belief in a certain rightness of thought. Then, the winds and waves of doubt blast away at my position and I begin to feel very alone there, often feeling that I'm on shaky ground.

The input, the data that we receive in our present times is more than just a bit overwhelming.  The media, like a big powerful new washing machine has our massive amounts of information on a constant spin and twist cycle.  Society, which includes our friends and people that we respect, look to for some type of guidance are very influenced by this glut of opinionated and biased presentation of the everyday events in our world...we are all influenced by it.

So where do we find a firm place to stand? I believe that it comes down to character. Einstein said, "Weakness of attitude leads to weakness of character."  If we let the current accepted trend of right and wrong cause us to doubt truths that we hold in our heart, we're stumbling. Though I believe we can't close our minds to a changing world with situations that we've never had to consider before, I feel we need to stand on our convictions.

I've never considered myself to be the most intelligent or the most righteous of humans. I certainly make mistakes and am often just plain wrong. The most difficult time to hold on to my small position is when I'm surrounded with people who tell me that I'm being unreasonable and inflexible. Like most folks, I want to be liked and respected by my friends and family. When I seem to be standing nearly alone, I have to sincerely question my rightness. This is where what is called "strength of character" truly matters.

 A large portion of our character was formed when we were just children, whether from a strong family, from school, from church or people we looked up to.  As we age and go through life, we apply the values we adopted when growing up and we add our own pieces of  things we decide to be right.  This is our character, it very much governs how we lead our lives. I do believe that the fabric of our character must be consistent and strong.  Like a heavy old wool coat, it should hang straight and not be twisted or altered. It should have threads of forgiveness and humility, it should have pockets to add new things. We should be able to wear the coat with pride but never with arrogance.

The world is complicated and we make choices and decisions, we make judgments each and every day. Our character should not be influenced by others version or lack of it. It should be the safe ground we seek when the earth sways beneath us.

It's Just Progress

Like most humans, I love change...as long as it's things that benefit me.  Like most older humans,  I fight, grumble and complain about changes that conflict with my little set and stubborn ways. Progress requires change. Change isn't always so easy to accept when it is rolling over your own toes.

The hubby and I were both more or less raised here in our home town. We went to school, formed long lasting friendships, met and married, raised our children and worked to better our lives here.  When we were young, the town was a nice sized town, big enough to have two high schools and all the basics for a comfortable life.  A prosperous town grows slow and steady and when you are so accustomed to living in it, you mostly notice the things that excite you..."Hey, did you see that we are getting a Big Baboo Seafood Restaurant right over there by the new Walmart?"

It's great to see restaurants, retail stores and entertainment develop.  Of course, more "Stuff" brings more population.  The medical services boom, more folks need more services, banks and churches.
More, more, more of everything.  The spouse and I moved into our rather modest  and older neighborhood about five years ago.  It was located about two miles from the busiest area of town and there was not much but housing in that two miles. In just these short years, there is now barely a slice of land left that isn't covered with the new fancy Gourmet Grocery store, the restaurants and other new businesses, a new elementary school and a new red light, with others soon to come. 

As we were just dawdling along, happy to have a new restaurant to dine out at, the city was booming and exploding and before you know it, the tsunami of progress had flooded over us.  First comes the tax bill that merrily reflects the increasing glut of valuable revenue around us.  Then one day, like yesterday when the hubby and I decided to have a day out, we found ourselves feeling like an alien in a strange land.  Up to our necks in progress and wondering what happened to our pretty and nice old town? 

We had planned to check out the new sprawling retail Village. By check out, I mean we just wanted to drive through the amusement park sized extreme shopping experience and gawk at the shoppers and stores. We would catch  a late lunch.  That was a major decision, even after we decided what kind of food we wanted, we crept through the bumper to bumper traffic, through stop light after stop light. There was a plethora of eating establishments to choose from, if we could just choose and actually reach one and didn't mind a twenty minute wait to be seated. How many people could actually be dying to eat a club sandwich at one time?

To top off our day we would take in a movie. Unbeknownst to us, the movie of our choice was showing in the special theatre.  Twenty five dollars later, we soon found ourselves sitting in cushy seats, looking right up the big star's nostrils on the massive screen and having our hair blown straight out behind us by waves of ear splitting sound. 

OMGoodness, we are living in a big city.  It was so good to crawl our way home,  take off our shoes and have a nice cocktail.  I suppose it's progress and it must be good. I found myself  thinking of a drive in movie, a hot dog from the concession stand and the only honking that we heard to get there was when you waved at your neighbor.