Stupid Human Tricks

Forest Gump's mother said, "Stupid is as stupid does". She was very correct. Humans have a large capacity for stupidity and I must admit that I am one hundred percent human. I don't claim to be any world traveler, however, the spouse and I do venture around quite a bit in the USA.  When folks leave the environs they are accustomed to and journey into unfamiliar territory, it is the perfect situation for one's ignorance to pop right out in front of everyone.  Sometimes, our mistakes can actually make the other poor souls, out there muddling around, feel a little smug.  Oh, don't deny it, we've all been there. Some pitiful jerk makes a big boo-boo, stumps their toe, runs into a glass door, goes into the wrong restroom, etc. and we feel a bit better about our shortcomings. We just cluck our tongue and think, what an idiot.  Of course, in our heart of hearts, we are praying oh, lordy, don't let me do something assinine like that today. 

Well, the spouse and I have been traveling the last couple of weeks. True to form, we were not without our small stupid tricks.  Of course, there is the expected and norm. You are just bound to miss an exit, take a wrong road or have to backtrack.  You know, you drive all those miles down to the beach, walk around and get your shoes full of sand. Then on the way back, you say "Wait a minute, where was that old lighthouse that was supposed to be down there?" And your partner in stupidity says, "What lighthouse?"  And, Oh my goodness, Washington DC is not for the faint of heart. Trust me, you may think you're pretty smart, but if you're not accustomed to maneuvering around in a big city, YOU KNOW NOTHING. The simple act of using the metro rail system is a huge challenge. You feel like you're in a weird movie where you are the only two moving in slow motion amidst a sea of fast forwarded blurry figures. 

I have observed that the American way of life is very consistent across the country, but there are all those those small quirky differences. Some things are due to climate or terrain and some are just cultural preferences, such as foods they eat or don't eat or season in a way that is very unlike what you are used to. Not to mention, what your stomach is used to. I have to say that from Texas to the nation's capitol and back, there was always someone willing to help. That is encouraging. Someone notices your deer in the headlights look of complete lost-ness and steps up and gives a hand. 

I, personally, challenged a previous record for stupid on the first half of our journey.  For nearly 2000 miles, I b----ed and whined because I didn't have data service on my cell phone. I had really counted on using that phone to check hotels, weather and those things your hubby "nascars" past that make you wonder, hey-y, what was that? I was fully prepared to give my cell phone company what for, as soon as I returned home. We had an extra day outside of Washington and I decided to go into an AT&T store. I broke the take a number and wait until you turn gray protocol and stepped forward, said to the nerdy bespectled twelve year old behind the counter, "Excuse me, I don't mind waiting, as long as I am sure you can help me, since I am so far from home?...." more stupidity spilling from my lips.

Dodging the little knives of hatred from all the other weary waiters that were hurling at the two of us, he took my cell phone, touched it twice and said, "There you go, Mam. You just had the packet data turned off." I wanted to know what the packet data was, but the phone store had suddenly became a dangerous place to be. 

I gave my biggest Texas smile, said, "Well, bless your heart,"  pranced my old ass out, happy as a pig in mud.  My phone was working, I would look up the whatchamacallit later. Even the perpetual stupid get a break on occasion, or a hand up or manage to do something brilliant. The spouse and I fully participate in the dance of life, even if sometimes we don't know the steps.  JO