Patience is a Virtue

That's what they say about patience...that virtue thing.  Well, I don't claim to be overly virtuous and patience is a hard character trait to achieve.  Of course, are there any good strong character traits that are easy to possess? On the other hand, those bad things are a breeze. Just check out the Seven Deadly Sins. Hey, I can cover those in one fell swoop.  I can get angry at the hubby or the stupid politicians or the idiots on TV (wrath) and think how I'm so much smarter (pride), kick off my shoes and sit in the chair (sloth), gobble some ice cream and cookies and go back for more cookies (gluttony and greed) and look at the hunky guy on the tube (lust) and hate that skinny little twit beside him (envy).  E-z-P-z. 

Patience, that's one of those difficult things to master. Those of you who are married or ever have been, know that it is one long test of patience. It's not easy, two humans living together, sharing a life. Though the rewards are many, the cost is not cheap.  We're all individuals, different. It's a monumental task to learn to tolerate those differences when someone else is in your space.

The hubby, he loves Bluegrass music. I'm talking, could listen to it for hours at max volume love it. I like all kinds of music, but even my favorites are irritating after a few tunes. All my CDs are mixed recordings of a very wide variety.   I admit to detesting Opera, screaming in an unintelligible language just doesn't do it for me. Rather listen to fingernails scratching on a blackboard.  I do enjoy many of the Bluegrass renderings. I especially enjoy the mandolin and the fiddle. But, after about three songs, I begin to feel like I'm captured in that old movie Deliverance, my nerves as taut as those damn banjo strings. Of course, old handsome Burt was in that movie and lookin' go-ood. Sometimes sweet consolation swims around in the stinky irritation. 

Here's where that patience trait comes in. When you love someone, when you commit to being their partner, it's important to truly share in their life.  I'm not talking about you have to join them or participate in every single one of their likes and activities.  The spouse and I, each definitely have aspects of living that we don't share. I do believe, however, that you must learn to join in some things and develop the patience to smile and participate joyfully.  And when you don't go along, you must listen to the story.  If you truly love and respect someone, why would you ever want to deprive them of their enjoyment. As you wouldn't want them to spoil your pleasure.

So, even though I've joked to my children, "You will find me dead some day. It will be death by twanging. Your father will have killed me with his corny music!",  I sometimes go along to the concerts, I listen to the hunting and golfing tales. On long trips in the car, when the music starts to plink into my head like hail on a tin roof, I practice mind blocking techniques. I look over and smile at the long suffering man who listens to my prattling about the characters in my new book, puts up with my obsessive compulsive cleaning and ignores my nagging. I think of brownies and good bourbon, about what will happen in the next chapter. In the chapter of my book and in our lives. I practice my patience. JO