Corn Should Be On the Cob

Lor-dee! I hate corny stuff.  Some of you might not even know what corny means.  Well, I looked up the definition and ended up looking up the definition of the definition---Sickly, mawkish (puerile-juvenile, childish, silly) outdated, simple sentimental, to the point of annoying.

Okay, I'm very sentimental, so I'm not sure that I agree with that part. Corn-ball and cornpone has just never tickled my funny bone. Perhaps my funny bone is broken or deformed?  The hubby, to this day, can sit down in front of the television and watch an hour of Hee Haw and laugh.  In his defense, he does love old country music and there was talent on that show---somewhere, buried under the piles of pure-d bull dookey.  Even as a child, the nice old relative who pinched your cheek and said, "Ooo-whee, what a pretty girl.  How many boyfriends you got, honey?" just made me want to slap the grinning face that was bent down to my level.  Spouse still says that to my pretty little grand-daughters and makes me cringe right down to my old toes.

I respect that people's taste is vastly diverse. Music, humor, literature, movies, television and much more is strictly a matter of individual taste. I understand.  Some of the things that to me are so corny, I can hardly hold down my raisin bran.

*Politicians, either sticking on their I'm serious as a heart attack face and voice, or screaming over their hordes of supposed fanatical followers.  Annoying lies

*Television commercials and reality programming that is the fartherest from reality that you can get. Fake tears, fake drama,  corny fake

*Banjos.  Fingernails on the blackboard music

*Rap. Trash talk, not music

*Shorts and dark high socks.  No explanation

*Old dirty jokes from dirty old men.  Don't know that THEY are the joke

*It's my body---Think I'll let somebody drill ink into every inch of it, stretch my ear-lobes about down to my shoulders, pierce my face like a colander and see how many rings and posts and balls I can poke into the holes.   Mawkish, puerile behavior at it's best.

Drum roll, please.
   The tattooed person of unknown gender in the double-knit suit will now tap dance and strum the theme song from Deliverance on the light up banjo.  Call S-T-U-P-I-D now on your device to vote.