The Pleasure of Your Own Company

I read a quote that said, "If you met you, would you like you?"  Good question, huh?   I happen to believe that it's very important for your mental health to be able to enjoy your own company. It's not a trait that everyone has.

The hubby and I, over our many years together, have flip-flopped in our social needs and desires.  As a young mother and wife, I craved the change of socializing. If there was a party, a gathering, new people to meet, I was right there, anxious to go and participate.   He often balked, no, don't think I want to go. I don't know those people---etc.

As the years have gone by, I found that my need for socializing has greatly diminished. I particularly came to the realization that just any companionship wouldn't do, I actually really only wanted to be around people that I truly enjoyed and those that seemed to appreciate my company. Since the spouse is on the top of that list of people I enjoy and due to the recent situation of writing being my passion---writing is a quite solitary occupation---I've become very much of a loner. While I still really like people and find them deeply interesting, I just don't seem to have a need for them.

He, on the other hand, accuses me of being a "hermit" and anti-social, he has morphed into an enthusiastic pursuer of social interaction.  He relishes parties, new people, festivals and concerts where all kinds of people crowd around.  In stores and restaurants he is likely to start up a conversation with a stranger.  The poor pizza delivery guy gets the third degree, "So, how long you been doing this, bud?  What are your plans? Earning college money?---this is always accompanied by a generous tip.  Still, I know the unfortunate deliverer shakes his head when he escapes, geez! what's with that old guy?

These personal changes between he and I, the old married couple is mostly just part of the natural changes that years bring. As a matter of fact, I just told him the other day, "I know that you're okay with your own company because you talk to yourself a lot more than to me."   But, I do see in some of our friends, in other folks, a worrisome need for people to constantly entertain them and fill up their lives.

We do live in a fast paced and full of stuff world. I get that and can't say that I don't participate in any of it.  It seems a bit frightening to me that a person would need every minute of their day scheduled and planned and other people in attendance at all times.  It's important to have occasional alone days, to have some quiet, to pause and explore who you are and where you're going. 

Another thing I read---think of five people you're around the most, for you will become like them. I'm not saying that is necessarily a bad thing.  Ask yourself, though,  are you like the  numerous people that you gather into your life, push into every little corner?  Can you say that you are true to your self, that you remain the unique you?  I think it's easy for you to get lost in the clamor of a crowd.  Appreciate the richness of friends and social interactions, but learn to enjoy the company of YOU.