Finding Your Funny Bone

Supposedly, the funny bone is nicknamed because it's actually the humerus.  I think it's called the funny bone due to the fact that if someone jams it (right in the vicinity of the elbow) and jumps around like a crazed monkey, you just laugh your ass off.  Laugh your ass off is an expression to be explored another time.

Sometimes, you just really need to find your funny bone. If you watch too much politics, news and tv, it's real easy to completely lose your sense of humor. You can come to feel like the world is full of stupid and mean people and surely the end is near...by the way, as someone said, you might be right, but don't call me Shirley.

Any-who-o, it's the end of our great season here at the cabin. I'm looking forward to being home in Texas through the holidays and catching up with family and friends.  If you've been searching for your sense of humor, here's some of my favorite funny quotes.  Maybe one will crack your funny bone.

***People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Issac Asimov

***Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Elbert Hubbard

***I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I'll be sober and you'll still be ugly.
Winston Churchill

***Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic and so am I.
Oscar Levant

***Go to Heaven for the climate, go to Hell for the company.
Mark Twain

***Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin

***Life is hard. After all, it kills you.
Katherine Hepburn

***Never have more children than you have car windows.
Erma Bombeck

Two of my favorite Jeff Foxworthy word definitions:
              Senuous- Since you wuz up, bring me another beer.
              Mayonnaise- Man 'ayes a lot of people out here.

May your problems be small and your smiles big, may your days be many and your health strong, may I be the friend to you that you've been to me.  JO

Arrogance

Who am I to be talking about the incredible arrogance of the politicians and celebrities of our present day?  I am nobody and that is precisely the point.  I'm not asking you to elect me a high office or to accept me as your leader. I'm not in a position of extreme influence.  I am merely expressing my opinion. That is my right as it is every American's right.

There is a huge difference in me expressing my opinion and in the self serving, full of themselves actions of so many of the very visible and famous, very influential and powerful of our society. There are  many of these very well known persons that are truly so self important that they believe they have the privilege to tell us what is right, whose behavior is acceptable or not.

Whatever happened to the things that many of us were brought up to believe?  Pride goeth before a fall---Putting someone else down will not bring you up---If you can't say anything good, don't say anything at all.  These people are contradictions to the own blathering beliefs.  They claim to be against racism, for women's rights, against discrimination in any form and yet:
            
                  Hilary Clinton lies, breaks and bends the law, says What difference does it make?

                  Donald Trump is such a pompous ass that the stuff that spews out of his mouth should be coming out the other end.

                  Joy Behar and the ladies of the view, the supposed champions of women and their equality, go on national television and make fun of a Miss America contestant because she chose as her talent to speak of her proud career.

                  Various Hollywood celebrities water their yards during a severe drought, drive big cars and private airplanes while condemning the rest of us for polluting the environment

The list most certainly goes on and on.  There seems to be very little middle ground these days. Those that decide to "say it like it is", to rebel against the politically correct police are vicious.  These personal attacks are ugly and they do nothing to solve the many problems of the world today. These highly visible people that are so free with their imperatives and opinions  are narcissistic and arrogant and the high horse they are riding is a dangerous perch.

Holy Moley!

I am so truly sick of hearing about marriage---about who has a right to BE married and who has a right to SAY who shall be married.  Like all big stories du jour, we are bludgeoned over the head with it for hours and days and weeks. 

Like most things that are perverted, twisted and spun out to fit whatever particular individuals believe and want, the marriage issue has been ran through the grinder, formed into messy little misshaped balls that we now are viciously lobbing at each other.

The definition of marriage or to marry includes, to join as according to custom or law, to combine, to commit, to unify, to take a spouse, to form a close union.  No where in the definition does it mention a piece of paper issued by the government, federal or state, to allow you to marry.  NO ONE can deny you the right to marry.  Marriage is the commitment of love and loyalty between two consenting adults before the spiritual diety they believe in or by their accepted representative of that diety or simply a firm and good faith declaration to each other.  Why would a person think that something as important in their life as taking a partner should fit any one religion's or person's idea of proper.  Marriage is a deeply individual and personal, private commitment of the heart.  If that commitment is true, you are married.

A marriage license is just a tax, a piece of bureaucratic paper that allows the counties and states to levy more of their taxes upon us. In fifty years of marriage, I don't think I've seen or touched my marriage license even twice.  It does have a sentimental value to me but it has not made me love my spouse more, be more loyal or honor my union more. Those things came from the truth of our hearts. 

What needs to happen in this crazy bass-ackwards country of ours is that no one should have to pay for a license to marry.  Folks should marry according to their own beliefs and customs, in their chosen manner. And these unions, so long as they are not breaking laws, should not in any form or fashion be the business of city or county employees.    Even though M. Kim Davis has every right to believe in her version of marriage and her right to speak and protest  is protected,  she has no right to pick and choose which law she obeys and she most certainly has no right to tell any other citizen they cannot have her permission to be married.  Surely, there is much more productive work for someone as important and self assured as this employee to do in order to earn her salary. 

Just like the flight attendant who converted to Islam, suddenly is forbidden to serve alcohol and now thinks a whole airline should accommodate her---no, wrong.  She made her life choices and she is responsible to make the necessary sacrifices for her decisions.  I'm very disappointed at the support that this county clerk has received. Should she have gone to jail? No, she should've been fired like any other person who will not do their job. Why would her religion, her beliefs be above all others?  With all my heart and soul I believe in our freedoms, I believe in standing up for them and in fighting for them.  Religious freedom, freedom of speech, right to bear arms---those are some of our precious promises. No single religion or culture gets to dictate the morals of American citizens.

 I'm sad to say that I don't believe Kim Davis is a survivor as the background music belied, she is arrogant and self righteous.  As another famous person that I have little respect for said, What difference does it make?   If this woman has her heartfelt religions beliefs, then why does she care if someone has a worthless piece of paper that gives them permission to seek hell and damnation.