Sizing Down

In the middle of this cold and dreary winter season, the hubby and I are up to our necks in some pretty big changes.  In a  couple of weeks we will have our house, here in our hometown, on the market for sale.  We're not giving up home roots by any means.  Just as we've done for the last nearly ten years, we will continue to share our time between our Texas hometown and our summer cabin in Colorado. We simply are not going to maintain a house here. Once the house is sold, we'll store a travel trailer here and use it like an apartment when we are at home.

It seems like an understatement to say that this project involves sizing down...this project involves major downsizing.  It's a bit like the old saying, "How do you eat an elephant?"  Just one small bite at a time. We've been consistently chewing away lately.  One thing that we've become convinced of is that this is a very good thing. Even if some unforeseen event stopped this ambitious plan in it's tracks, we are moving a long way towards simplifying our life.  Today, our lives are extremely cluttered and complicated. We have lots of stuff. That stuff often gets packed away, pushed back, to make room for new stuff. 

Here are some tips about downsizing that I've come to realize:

        *Our hearts tell us that some things must be held on to.  You know..."Oh-h, that's grandma's favorite bowl. Everytime I look at it, I remember ???" When's the last time you looked at it? What good is it doing in the top of cabinet collecting dust?  Either, get rid of one of your bowls and USE the keepsake or give it to the kids. Surprise, you say, they don't want it. Then, keep a thing or two in a place where you can see and enjoy it or sell it.  Give the kids the money. I promise they won't turn that down.

        *Start going through your accumulation, a bit at a time, now. Don't wait until something forces you to get rid of things or leave the children burdened with the disposal of your things.  They will sell it for a 25 cents in a garage sale or give it to the Goodwill.  Pare down your things while you have time to do what you want with it. 

        *Be ruthless and be organized.  When you tackle a closet or under the bed or a storage cabinet, have several boxes or plastic storage totes available.  If it's no longer good to you, you don't want it, put it in the "sale" box and put a price on it...what would you sell it for in a sale? When it's time for that sale, it will be a lot easier.  Make hard choices.  Try to keep the true keepsakes to pack away at a minimum.  Decide if you can display or use other things that you've just saved.  Example, my mother-in-law's silverplate ware has lived, in it's case, under many a cabinet for years.  I actually like the set. Supposedly, it's not good to put silverware in the dishwasher. Well, in a travel trailer, no dishwasher. I'm going to use it, suddenly feel excited about having it. The same for some other collected and inherited dishware...I'm going to use it. 

        *Label every box and storage box, so you know what you have.

You would be amazed at how good it feels to get rid of things that just lurk and never really get used. You really don't have to have several of everything, just the useful amount and your favorite.  Get busy, you will feel better and smaller.

Performance Issues

Don't get excited...this is not a "Fifty Shades of Grey" story. It is about job performance. The hubby and I, in general have a pretty good partnership.  He does many jobs that I can't and don't want to do and I do many that he could but won't do. I have to be fair, it's not that he makes no effort at all.  One of the jobs that he has accepted is to help a bit with the evening meal. His duties are to get out the placemats, napkins, plates and silverware and to fill the tea glasses.

On his good days, he manages pretty well.  As long as the tea is made--that would involve the complicated process of unwrapping two cold brew tea bags and putting them in a jug of cold water. No more than six questions of
"How're you doing?...can I put the ice in?...do I need to wait?...is it time? We usually have something to eat with and iced tea by mealtime.

Lately, he had developed this habit of disappearing to his shop about 30-45 minutes prior to dinner. Other than him growing weary of my stimulating cocktail hour conversation, I've not the slightest idea of what the "old guy" is doing out there.  Is there a girlfriend in the trunk of his beloved vintage Mustang? Is he testing his home brewed moonshine?  Is he practicing his clog moves to his twangy bluegrass tunes? It's anybody's guess. 

However, at about that time, I kick into high gear. It's time to prepare dinner and I get into my been there and done that a million times, multi-tasking mode.  I'm in a whirl of busy-busy and you're not to mess with me.  So, last evening, the man saunters inside about ten minutes before the magic time of dinner is ready.  He stands in his genius disguise (or perhaps his drunken stupor) and stares at his jobs that are already done. 

I give him a minute or two to ponder. The creaking wheels turning in his head echo in the kitchen.

I say, "I'm sorry to tell you, but I'm going to have to let you go."

"What-t-t??" he blinks at me.

"You're fired.  You suck at this job."

Now, when I told my good friend of this incident, she said, "Don't be hasty, maybe you should try two weeks suspension without pay."

Our youngest daughter, always business proper, asked me some pertinent questions.  Was he properly trained?  Does he understand the importance of his job to mealtime? Is he frustrated, does he act safely, does he have a good attitude? Does he know that I care about him as a person?

Well, years of training  proved to be fruitless. I would say he is untrainable. He doesn't seem to be particularly frustrated or worried about the importance of his work.  Safe? The man would run in front of a semi-truck to save a kitten. The only attitude he has is "If you don't like it, you can kiss my a--".

In spite of all these considerations, I'm thinking of keeping him on.  He is useful and good at many things and I do care about him as a person---that is, when he's not being the south end of  horse.

Do You Believe in Fate?

Have you ever thought about choices, decisions you made in your life and realized that your life could've been so different? I read a quote that said, Fate is the opportunity to go right or left. Destiny is a one way street.  I have thought more than just a few times, what if I had made a different choice, what if I had passed that way a few minutes sooner, what if I hadn't been in that place at that time....etc.?

Because I believe in accountability and self sufficiency, I tend to think that we make a lot of our own fate. However, so much of life is utterly beyond our control.  I generally stand at a crossroads, when it's a major decision and ponder long and hard about what path I will choose.  The truth is, so many very small and minor decisions alter our lives enormously.  We make those blind decisions often, having no way to foresee how they will impact us. 

No question, humans make stupid choices. Sometimes, you see someone given a "this or that" choice and when they choose, you want to scream, "Are you freakin' kidding me! You choose that?"   I know that some of you would argue with me vigorously, but I thought the movie Thelma and Louise was the pinnacle of stupidity.  I mean, give-me-a-break...those ladies had been making stupid decisions through the entire movie. Then in the end, they sail off the end of a cliff in a convertible to a fiery death. I often say to my hubby, when I observe someone act with a complete lack of intelligence, "They pulled a Thelma and Louise."

Of course, things aren't always that obvious.  Perhaps, you choose to turn left instead of right, maybe you can just circle back if it's not the right way...or may-y-be it leads you into dangerous territory and there is no circling back.  Many times, I've thought about the events many years ago that changed my life for certain. The hubby's mother, newly divorced and looking for a new life for herself and her teen age son, accepted a transfer from her company. Not knowing anyone, she moved her son and herself to my hometown.  What if that hadn't been her choice or even option?  Was it my life long love and I's destiny to be together, would we in some other unpredictable way have met...somewhere, sometime? Do you have to be a romantic or a believer in fate to think so?

Personally, I don't believe that it's all written down somewhere in a heavenly tablet, what will happen in your life. I believe we have a considerable amount of control. The job you DO or DON'T take, the person you DO or DON'T marry, the drink you DO or DON'T take, the new hairdresser you DO or DON'T decide to try (Oh my goodness, have I developed a growth on one side of my head or is she blind in one eye?)  We have some control and hair does grow back out. The question is about all those other things that we seem to not be able to influence at all. 

If we choose the road to the left, will some of the same things happen to us that would've happened on the road to the right? Ah-h, my sweet partners in this mysterious existence, I do not know. These winter days cause deep thoughts. 

One of my favorite quotes is by Robert Frost---Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.