Just a Smile and My Skivvies

Many a tall Texas tale begins,"...well, I heard this ter'ble ruckus out back, so I raced out side! There I stood, sportin' not a stitch but my boots and my skivvies."  A big grin always accompanies this recounting.

What the heck are skivvies anyway? It is said to be an old trademark, but that is not substantiated by any patents. I found a pretty convincing definition by a respected British wordsmith. He says it's military slang for  man's underwear. He cites a newspaper quote from 1918 that uses the term. This makes sense to me because I have heard the hubby use this term frequently over nearly five decades.  Just about any military or ex-military person is likely to be heard using that term.

A few years ago, we reconnected with a long lost buddy from the hubby's stint in the military. The friend and wife came for a visit. Catch up stories as well as old memories were shared, as baby back ribs smoked on the grill. The vintage friend told us that he sends out a running report to his folks and friends of the number of gophers and skunks that he eliminates from his spacious country property.  Old friend's charming country house sits a ways back from the road, but the highway in front is a fairly busy one.

He tells of one late night adventure. Awakened by a noise, he pulls on his boots, grabs his gun and stealthfully exits his back door.  Sure as shootin', there's a skunk, waddling around. Noting that the wind is drifting back in his direction, he cunningly decides not to blow the stinker away so close to the house. He stalks the skunk away and across the highway and into the ditch, which is a good place for the critter to become a statistic. Friend raises up just in time for a big Walmart truck to blast by, giving him a loud TOOT! TOOT! as he stands in the waving tall weeds, with his smile and his skivvies.

His story reminds me of many such instances through the years.  The hubby that sat in a lawn chair beside our motor home in a Hill Country rest stop. It was after midnight, his rifle lay across his skivvie clad lap, boots on his feet. He quietly scowled at the rowdy and drunk teenagers, cavorting in their headlights. Little did we know that we had encroached on their weekend hangout. Shortly, the Sheriff glided by, ignoring the armed, half naked man in the lawn chair and removed the revelers from the property. 

Indeed, in our neck of the woods,  it's a Texas tradition. Scantily clad men, armed and rising to the occasion.  As a young girl, I sat on wooden back steps and watched the neighbor across the alley slam out his back screen door, his white boxers bright in the moonlight. A man that I had not even previously seen at his window, jumped around, holding his leg and squealed, "You shot me!"

The neighbor's wife stood at the door in her summer robe, her hair up in curlers and lamented, "Goodness John, you got on your un-der-wear!"  Television was limited and black and white, this was a pretty good show. 

My grandfather scatting away a liquored up transient from the porch;  my father chasing a shadowy figure from messing with our old pick up truck.  In these parts, if you are on our private property uninvited, if you are toting away something that does not belong to you, if you threaten our life or limb, or if you're merely eating up the roots of our well nurtured Saint Augustine grass...don't think for one little New York minute that our lack of proper britches will save you. And when your hide is hanging on our fence post (either figuratively or physically), the tale that is told will most certainly be accompanied by a smile.

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Book Promotion Cheers and Boos

( A disclaimer....if you are not an independent author, this will be boring as hell.)
Over the previous two weeks I ran a series of book promotions for two of my previously published novellas.  Before I made the decision to promote, I searched the internet for authors forums and blogs, looking for their opinions and results of their promos. That was helpful, so here is a report on the results of my advertising promotions.  The very first book that I published came out about a year ago and I also promoted one of my later two books, which has been available for about five months. Both of these books are slightly less than 50,000 words,(that length is referred to as a novella). They are in the science fiction, dystopian category. No Normal Day sells for $1.99 regularly and is the first of a four part series.  The Days After (Big River) sells for $2.99 and is the first of two.  Both of these books were put on sale for .99 for the promotions.

I have done no other promotions of my books, except a "book tour"  back in the late fall. I want to say up front, counting the earlier book tour, I ran promotions with nine companies and my total expenditure was close to $550.  Indie publishing is free to the  author and I have spent no other monies on promotion this year.  To my great surprise, all of my books have shown much more sales than I ever expected. Over the last couple of months, however, (this excludes my newest release) the sales have really dropped into a steady small trickle of everyday sales. It seemed to me that a little promotion wouldn't be a bad idea. I want to say that each of these companies are honest and professional and each delivered exactly what they promised.  These are only my personal results and opinions. I also have to add that I believe the reduction in price to .99 contributed at least half of the positive results.

        FIRE and ICE BOOK TOURS--(prices are very affordable and you choose that amount you wish to spend on give-aways) I love this site and the personal attention and job that they did for me, Shelly was fantastic.  I saw no instant and big increase from this promo, but definitely had some long term increases, especially in my foreign (UK) sales.
         BARGAIN BOOK HUNTER/ PIXEL SCROLL--(prices very affordable) great venues to promote free or discounted books.
         ASK DAVID--(ONLY $15.00 for a year with this site and you can add as many of your books as you wish).  I think this promo site is just a wonderful bargain. A great and professional presentation. "David" offers excellent support and an interest in benefiting the author.  I am so pleased with the service here.
       KINDLE BOOK NATION--(About two thirds of my money went to this site, it is pricey). I had two different promos on two days with KND.  I definitely saw a jump of about triple in my daily sales and a very large increase in my Amazon sales rank.  If you are an Indie author, you have probably already figured out, the better your rank, the more visibility and promo you get on Amazon and of course that translates into sales.  I believe the large majority of writers who use this site, see big results.  I, personally would never spend those $$ again, unless I decide that the long term results pay off.  So far, it was a flash.  In my case, I am not convinced yet, that it will be worth the money spent.
        KINDLE BOOKS and TIPS--(Another very affordable site) This promo was for my later release and there was a very noticable bump in sales and rank. 
       PIXEL INK-- This is a nice free site that will accept your promotion, but can't guarantee your book will be featured on the day of your sale.
       FIVERR-- (only cost $5.00) This is an interesting site that actually offers all kinds of services, etc. and will send your book promotion to many sites.
        IT'S WRITE NOW--(Very affordable $10.00 for multiple days promotion) Great site for promos.
       FREE & DISCOUNT BOOKS--(Prices start at about $20) Different options and days to choose from at affordable prices, great looking site.       
       KINDLE BOOK REVIEW--(Prices starting at $25.00)  I admit to being a day away from my promo with this company.  It is a nice looking site, with many options to choose from. Their customers have very good results and I am expecting the same.

***some of these sites even offer review services.  Obviously, my extremely varied reviews will tell you that I just don't believe in soliciting or paying for reviews.  It's just me, but it doesn't seem right. I wouldn't lie and say that I always accept my reviews with cheer, but it is what it is.  Each must make his/her own decision about that.

Here is my opinion as far as book promos for Indie authors. They are necessary, unless you're just writing for the pure joy of it and don't care if you sell books. In this competitive independent publishing culture, if you would like to sell books, you will probably have to let go of a few dollars  for promotion.  I do not Facebook, Tweet or what-ever....the promos got me a considerable amount of that kind of exposure.  If you are frustrated because some of the more expensive promotion sites will not accept your book, get over it.  There are plenty of affordable, even cheap sites that will bring you some success. Do your homework and really weigh the cost of promos as to the result you expect or will actually get.

Finally, a very sincere warning.  I was such a newbie a year ago. I knew nothing about publishing a book on Amazon or anywhere for that matter, absolutely nothing.  I was totally unprepared for the vicious negative reviews when they appeared. If you work to give your work more exposure, such as with promotions, that is exactly what you will get, more exposure. In this world today, it is just the way things are; with that exposure will come the bad, as well as the good. 

Those horrific zombie, writer devouring monsters will come crawling out of the depths. All frantic and excited to have the fresh amateur author flesh to gobble up. They are just waiting out there to tell you how they wish they could give you a "negative star" review...how .99 or free was way too much to pay for the excessively boring, grammatically ignorant piece of rubbish that you offered...how, even though they just read the first few pages, it was just too awful to endure anymore. With determination and their burning eyes, their fingers literally disintegrating from just opening your e-book up on their reader, they will regurgitate out their warning to the rest of the reading world. Do not ever buy anything that this author writes!

Sigh-h, I warn you, be ready for it.  My advice to you is dig around in that excrement for the morsels  of truth, clean them off, use the stinking bits to improve your writing and flush the rest. Good Luck. JO




      
       
      
     
         

Foreign Travel---Are Americans Safe?

Like 99% of information on the internet, this is just my humble opinion. And, you know that everyone has "one" of those, right?  There is a big and beautiful world out there. Personally, and from the point of view of a writer, I relish seeing and experiencing new places and meeting new people. Although, I admit to becoming a hermit when I write and living in this tiny corner where my laptop huddles.  I have reached a firm decision, however, that when my time to leave this planet arrives...whether it's going to sleep and never awakening (we all wish), a tree falls on me or any of the hundreds of methods of demise, it will be on American soil.

Of my friends, I would say that the beliefs of whether Americans are safe when traveling outside of the USA, is fairly evenly split between the "Oh, it's fine" and the "You are crazy".  Many have worked hard all their lives, they had big plans and dreams of seeing other parts of the world.  They want to stand in front of the fabulous sights and scenery, touch it, smell it, be right there. I sure would agree that there are stunning possibilities outside of  the US to see. The wide world, OMgoodness! it's amazing.

The big question, is it safe?  Just because something exists, is allowed doesn't mean it's right or should be done.  We, Americans are incredibly arrogant.  A good many believe that our American skin is a glowing suit of armor and we will, of course, be just fine where ever we go. We just think that if it is there, we certainly can have it, indeed we are entitled to it. Let's get real folks, they do not like us. When I say "they", I mean a very large number of the inhabitants of the world.  Some that just are not amused by us and a huge number that actively hate us.  When we travel outside the USA these days, we might as well have a big target painted on our back.

I realize that many would have loud arguments as to this opinion.  Why would you live in fear? why would you not see the wonders of the world?  That's just paranoid and stupid, they would say. I'm sorry, but I can still hear my mother say, "If all your friends jumped off the bridge, are you going to?" There is the possibility that exhilarating cool waters await your splashdown, there is also the very real possibility that freakin' pirahnnas lurk beneath the surface.  I mean where is the point where your little alarm bell dings?  How many Americans have to be kidnapped or killed, out of the country,  before you doubt your invincibility?  How many cruise ships have to become stranded, fill up with diseased passengers, have a murder or sink before you decide you might not want to take a cruise at this time? If someone asked you, "Is the viewing of a pyramid worth your life?", it would be easy to answer. Problem is, so many of us just do not believe that "stuff" can happen to us. They consider that to be an irrelevant question.

As I said, just my opinion.  It's everybody's personal choice and no place in the world has more freedom to make those choices than America. For me, there's still so much of the beauty of America that I haven't seen and I prefer to take my risks, perhaps cruising up the Mississippi River or standing up close to Mount Rushmore. As the talented Tanya said, "When I die I may not go to heaven. Well, I don't know if they let cowgirls in. If they don't, just send me on Texas...Boy, Texas is as close as I've been." 

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Deep Dark Dystopia

Since, in reality, I didn't even intend to write a book, I certainly did not realize that I would write a dystopian fiction novel.  As I have said, two of my interests collided, a love for writing and a new found belief in preparing for a future that could be extremely changed by more than one disastrous scenario.

I admit that I only had a vague idea of what the word dystopia meant and it was after I had my first novel finished, that I knew that the category or subject of my writing was indeed, dystopian fiction.  The definition of dystopia is the opposite of utopia. An imaginary place where people live fearful lives due to a changed world. So, the books that I wrote this past year are definitely about that.

What my books are not about, is a deep and dark dystopian existence.  My stories are not about what happened to the world, they're about how my characters are able to survive the what. I am basically an optimist and I absolutely believe in being prepared, planning, and using your smarts and ingenuity to live, even in our present world and for certain in a post disaster world.  I want to explore the possibilities of living with change.  So, there are no zombies or challenges that don't have a chance of my characters overcoming them. Very little bad language, no explicit sex, people and families joining together and working together to survive.  These are the stories that I choose to tell, the stories that excite me and my imagination.

I have had readers who were disappointed. Critics who have commented that "that was too convenient, that was too easy, don't think it would be that way, not enough action and violence...."  After a bit of hand wringing I realized, they absolutely have the right to read, watch or even participate in anything they wish. To each his own.  I have to write what I imagine, my vision of a fictional future. My vision is not dark and hopeless, but difficult, dangerous, challenging and hopeful. 

A good friend asked me to read over the beginning of his book based on some of his Vietnam war experiences. He kept warning me, "there's lot of bad language."  I told him that just because my books are not full of bad language, does not mean that his story shouldn't have any. As a writer, you must be true to your story. A military, war story would obviously have the language of real people in those real situations.

My point here is (thought I'd never make it, didn't you?")  As a writer, be true to your own story and style. You'll never please everybody and you will not be able to make romance readers enjoy your action thriller. Other than the hard learned lessons about grammar and editing, you must write your story, your way.  As a reader, be careful to read descriptions and "blurbs" about any book you are considering to read. Don't buy a light romance and be disappointed because the writer doesn't describe every little romantic "encounter" in explicit detail and don't buy No Normal Day (a dystopian family survival story) and feel cheated because Jack, the family man doesn't become a zombie and chew off the head of his neighbor. 


Your comments are always welcome.  JO